Politicians hone the art of the non-answer. The stock ”” often flippant ”” thing they say when asked a direct question; their go-to platitudes. For example: “What would you do about the war in Afghanistan?” Answer: “Listen to the commanders on the ground.” Translation: I wouldn’t DO anything. Another fave is saying, “I’d leave it… Continue reading →

Republicans say the polls are skewed until they show their guy in the lead. Then the polls are clearly right and we should all take note! Democrats panic when the polls fluctuate in the least bit and start using words like “outlier” and “anomaly” (liberal words for skewed). We’ve never had more polls or more… Continue reading →

I don’t really make predictions. But my prediction is in 10 years, we will all snidely refer to anything inept, broken, petty and lazy as like the 112th Congress. Coaches will yell it at their athletes when they’re falling behind, “Do you want people to call you the 112th?! Do you? Then get up and… Continue reading →

In the summer of 1959 then-Vice President Richard Nixon flew to Moscow to speak at the opening of the American National Exhibition. The exhibit was intended to showcase the advantages of American capitalism to the Soviets. Nixon and Soviet Premier ­Nikita Khrushchev, accompanied by an army of reporters, toured the life-sized model of the “typical… Continue reading →

Last year when I was covering the Occupy movement, I crashed a “teach-in” at the Cal campus (a public””meaning””government university) where an activist announced they didn’t need government. “We can govern ourselves!” She declared. Now the problem with a group of people governing is they essentially become (wait for it) a government. It’s a bit… Continue reading →

The RNC was a post-Apocalyptic dystopia of what the world could be if Republicans were completely in charge: Scared (mostly) white people in a militarized labyrinth of blockades in strategic dead ends ” all for your protection. Attendees endured security checks inside secured perimeters within partitioned areas. “Small government” police brigades were in roving gangs… Continue reading →

A few years ago, I had a friend who didn’t want anyone to know she was going to therapy. Instead she would announce at her place of business she was leaving to attend her Amway meeting. At one point I had to inform her, “You know that doesn’t make you look any less crazy, right?”… Continue reading →

Last Friday I went to the Broadway revival of the 1960 Tony Award-nominated play written by the late Gore Vidal, “The Best Man.” John Larroquette plays Secretary William Russell, the womanizing candidate in a sham marriage who’s the more scrupulous of the two politicians vying for the presidential nomination in this imagined 1960 convention in… Continue reading →

The charm of Sarah Palin as a veep pick is, she set the bar incredibly low for her successors. As long as a nominee can name a newspaper and their foreign policy experience isn’t living next to a foreign country, the press can dub them better than Sarah Palin. More qualified. More gravitas. More ready… Continue reading →

The Republican primary has been over for months now but it’s hard to tell. The presumptive nominee (I’ll get to stop writing that phrase in a couple of weeks … hopefully), Mitt Romney, is still campaigning like he’s trying to convince his own party he’s Mr. Right, Mr. Right-Enough””or in his case Mr. Right…Now. “What… Continue reading →

Presumptive nominee Mitt Romney is seemingly fixated on apologies. He’s obsessed with apologies like Bristol Palin is obsessed with teen abstinence””like BP is obsessed with clean energy””Marcus Bachmann with curing homosexual men … Mitt’s book is titled No Apology. He’s convinced the problem with Obama is that he apologizes for America. Because Mitt is so… Continue reading →

If Barack Obama had been the Democratic president who said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself,” Republicans would call it capitulation. “Obama surrenders to America’s enemies!” Commentators on Fox News would opine it’s actually an Islamic saying he picked up in a madrassa in Indonesia. “The prophet Mohammed talked about fear,… Continue reading →

It’s hard to get excited about the Winter Olympics. Watching elite athletes do elite sports is not on the same level of human drama that plays out at the Summer Games. Face it, you have to be pretty well off to even discover an aptitude for skiing. The winter games are mostly watching privileged people… Continue reading →

Freedom is under attack! In the largest city of our giant country””the liberty to drink over 16 ounces of sugar syrup is in the crosshairs of the gubmint. New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg has proposed (and will most likely implement) the nation’s first prohibition on over-sized soda at public venues. Now the AstroTurf outrage over… Continue reading →