Ryan Seacrest – you won!

douche

Congratulations Ryan! The people voted and you came out on top.

ryan

Los Angeles Magazine, one of the most mediocre publications to date (that shows up in my mailbox every month UNINVITED just like those AOL CDs) – had you as one of the top 10 unfunniest people in Los Angeles. That’s like Paris Hilton calling you shallow. Or Kirsty Alley calling you fat. Or Liberace calling you a little ‘light in the loafers’. My point is: LA Mag really knows meaningless fluff because they are…meaningless fluff. So in this instance, I trust their opinion – they know what they are talking about.

I have to say that although, I put you down as a candidate for The Sardonic Sideshow’s Douche Bag Award, I feel bad picking on you. You fill a niche. You are necessary. You’re the guy that can talk endlessly without saying anything (as in your KROQ days). Nothing offensive or thought provoking, but not dead air. That’s a skill. Then you’re not heinously deformed. RADIO (where no one SEES you) with good looking people is perfect for Los Angeles. All the clichés are true: In Los Angeles, the only thing we care about more than how you look is how we look.

Anyway, on American Idol you again fill a needed job. You frame the contest. Some frames around art are amazing pieces of artistry themselves. Some just keep the picture from being thumb tacked to the wall. You would be the latter. Not offensive nor thought provoking, but not dead air.

So for not moving us in any way – but all of us knowing your name – you are worthy of The Sardonic Sideshow’s Douche Bag Award. Congrats!

1 Comment Ryan Seacrest – you won!

  1. Abby Taylor

    My guess is that Ryan visited your blog and voted for himself several times to put him over the top. Publicity is publicity after all. Worked for Kato Kaelin.

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