Operation: Enduring Excuse

tina We’re no longer at war with the terrorists?

bush We’re struggling against violent extremists.

tina ‘The Struggle Against Violent Extremists’ sounds like a manual written for doctors at abortion clinics.

*sound of crickets chirping*

bush *blank stare*

tina Anyway, uhm…As you were saying, the struggle…

bush I’m a struggle president. No one wants to be the struggle president. That’s what I do. Think about struggle. Think about extremists. Our country is at struggle.

tina I think of a ‘struggle’ as something that happens in the summer when your AC goes out, you’ve eaten too much and you have to put your jeans on. You even HAVE to say the word with a certain grimace on your face…you know….ssstr-Uhg-gle!

bush We’re not fighting a metaphor – we’re struggling. We’re struggling to win. There are extremists out there that are willing to struggle back and kill Amurikans.

tina I’m sorry, this campaign or whatever you call it – is beginning to sound like a tug-o-war.

bush Not war – struggle.

tina Tug-o-struggle, then.

bush Hehe, that’s pretty good. You must be a West Texas girl, just like me.

tina *blank stare*

*crickets chirping*

tina Ahem…So it’s actually a war on euphemisms?

bush I’m the commander – see, I don’t need to explain -I do not need to explain why I say things. And it’s not war–

tina Struggle on euphemisms.

bush And God bless Amurika!

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