Mrs. Fields, My Grama and Mars

Dr. John Gray – the man that forever creeped out popular culture with his Trekkie take on relationships. You know…the “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” book series. He is a FRAUD. That’s right, not only is he NOT a doctor from any college that isnt imaginary – he’s never even been to Venus or Mars!! How could you America? How could you let this twice divorced pudgy dork – that’s never even left the Earth’s atmosphere – become a relationship guru? We should be ashamed.

This leads me to my next thought – Dr. Phil. Rule number one: dont buy a weight loss product when a photo of a man with a double chin graces the packaging. Mrs. Fields looks better. Hell, Al Roker looks better. If you want to lose weight simply put a picture of Dr. Phil (preferably in something form fitting) in the dining area of your home. Guaranteed appetite reducer. Or maybe that’s the point of putting his PICTURE on weight loss products.

All we do in this country is obsess about how fat we are. We should be grateful. There are starving people in Beverly Hills dying each day!

Anyway, I just found out one of the two people that reads my blog is my grandmother. Hi Grama – I stopped cursing on my blog for you. I know, I used the word ‘hell’ but that’s not really considered cursing in California (she’s from Mississippi, when she stubs her toe she says,”Jimminy Cricket” or “Crips”). Anyway, she not only knows html – she has her own website (the link is above). She’s so cute.

Some of my family, older, conservative – sweet – Catholic – that live in Louisiana wanted to come see my show. They said,”Youre family and family needs support.” That’s all well and good – but most family members dont open for wet t-shirt contests. When I moved to Los Angeles to pursue my dream, that’s not what ANY of us had in mind.

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