How was the quake for you?
Brief, I didn’t even know what was going on, really. My dog is all freaked out. She probably needs medication. You traumatized my dog.
Dog? Hmm. I was trying to get people to not take me for granted.
Well, Earth you really let people walk all over you.
You were just WAITING to say that weren’t you?
Yes. Sorry. Can’t help it.
People should note that I can only put up with so much.
Good old Earth, you tree-hugger you! You’re all acting up to stop all the pollution – such a liberal.
Excuse me? ‘Liberal’ is the new ‘communist’!
No ‘terrorist’ is the new ‘communist’. ‘Liberal’ is the new ‘Frenchman’ or ‘leper’ depending on what circles you travel in.
Ahem…So this little 5.3 today was a message that you can only put up with so much?
Yes. Don’t repeal any part of The Patriot Act.
What? The last time we talked you were all pro-environment – Mother Earth and Tori Amos. What happened?
Look, that was the ’90’s. I tried. But the Democrats have kind of wussed out, so it’s time to get on the winning team.
That doesn’t seem crazy to you?
Nothing we do is crazy if we’re the majority. If we have mob mentality on our side – only the dissenters are crazy. Isn’t conservatism great?
You’re political leanings are totally AGAINST you’re best interests!
That’s just a piece of liberal propaganda. That’s the spin doctored sound bite that everyone likes to say. As a humorist, I would have expected better from you.
Errr…Earth, it’s true. This administration’s record has been detrimental to you. It’s like a Wal-Mart employee putting a Bush/Cheney sticker on their 1985 Dodge Charger on their way to stand in line at the free clinic. Come on!
Look, I talked to Jesus about this. He is all for being kind to the poor and good to all people. But he’s still a Republican. You liberals see contradiction and your heads explode.
Stop calling me a liberal, Earth.
I’m a Republican – you’re either with us or against us – liberal.
Knock it off!
I can see that this is really upsetting you, but since I’m a member of the GOP now, I don’t have to wonder why. I get to just write you off. Oh, so much easier than trying to understand nuance.
I can’t believe this!
Why not? Let me explain something to you – politics is NOT about having personal convictions – Howard Dean needs to figure that one out. It’s about jumping on the most powerful bandwagon, regardless of what you believe and then being elated when your party gets it’s way. It’s a choice between the Lakers and the Clippers. Whose shirt do you want to be wearing?
I don’t like basketball.
It’s a metaphor.
I refuse to go along with this analogy. My only choice at this point, is to be difficult.
Congratulations. There’s the idea behind the filibuster. Has that worked to overturn any judicial nominees? Nope. You think you guys would have cut that out by now, the ‘pouting’ that is.
I don’t remember you being this annoying when you were a Democrat.
Whatever! In politics, you’re either a dissenter or a shaker – and I’m the ORIGINAL SHAKER baby!
To be continued…