Mike Myers, reading the bible and Y2K

Okay, I live in Los Angeles. A couple of weeks ago the grocery stores and busses went on strike. Not wanting to cross a picket line, Ive gone only to Trader Joes (theyre non-union). Because of the strike Trader Joes is a madhouse. The shelves have been picked bare like Y2K actually happened. There were two little old ladies fighting over a package of goat pastrami. It was ugly. And on the drive home – the worst traffic Ive ever seen.

On top of that there was a heat wave. In the triple digits way into Oct. Then the fires started. Now there’s a blacker haze over the city. My sinuses feel like Ive sucked on an exhaust pipe. And there is STILL the worst traffic Ive ever seen.

So I have spent 3 times as many hours in my day in traffic. My radio doesnt work even though I have new speakers (I cant figure it out), so I just sit and read bumper stickers. I need to talk about these bumper stickers. “War is not the answer.” War isnt the answer? Well neither is a BUMPER STICKER! If you want to be political – write your congressman – because a stickers is not cutting it. Im tired of the ‘Save the world’ bumper stickers on cars when its obviously NOT meant to be sarcastic. “Read the Bible” “Think Green” “Join Ah-nold” Has there ever been anyone in the history of the Universe whose mind has been changed by one line of print on glossy sticky tape? Has anyone ever decided to PRACTICE RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS because some jerk that just cut you off has that on their car?!? Do people get moved emotionally by seeing Calvin peeing on different things? NO.

Ever known someone that ONLY says things theyve heard on television or movies? Theyre like a parrot that has been subjected to all of Mike Myers movies. “Yeah – Baby!” That’s what bumper stickers are – theyre fundamentally from their very premise HACKY! COME ON – SAY SOMETHING ORIGINAL PEOPLE!!! For my sake – please – my stupid radio wont work!!

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