Kudzu is an invasive plant that flourished in this country. It has devastated crops in the southeastern United States over the last few decades. If you live in the south or have ever been to the south – you’ve seen kudzu.
It was brought over to this continent from China.
I think Southerners should put down their pulled pork sandwiches and UNITE! I say they go and drop a bunch of skunks (native of north America) to China. That’s right, China – it’s payback time and this time – its personal!
This would be an especially rude awakening to the Chinese people. These people that so dutifully eat rats when their government asks them to. I love my country – but I don’t love ANYTHING that much. Anyway, imagine a nice Chinese family sitting down to dinner and a weird cat waltzes in their home with a sign around it’s neck:
“This is for all the Kudzu!”
Wrong, I know…but very funny.
In an attempt to see how this plague of a plant is useful, researches in Boston have tried its effects on binge drinking.
Lukas was not certain why but speculated that kudzu increases blood alcohol levels and speeds up its effects. More simply put, the subjects needed fewer beers to feel drunk.
I don’t want to second guess any Harvard affiliated researcher BUT Vicodin already DOES THAT! Does the world need a pill that makes you feel drunk quicker? YES! Are there already SEVERAL varieties to choose from? Ask any high school student – YES.
You know what would really take care of the over growth of this annoying plant? If it made you feel drunk without drinking at all. Have a problem with toads – tell some teenagers that licking them will get them high. Have a problem with mushrooms in your field – just let them know it makes them see stuff. If you want to make the kudzu problem go away – tell the kids that smoking it will make Burger King palatable and WB programming BRILLIANT.