bush Iraqis want freedom. We know that free societies are peaceful societies.

tina Is that what its like to live in a free society? I had forgotten.

bush It’s a part of my new strategy in Iraq.

tina You have a new strategy in Iraq?!?

bush Yep. Our new strategy is to win the war.

tina And your old strategy was?

bush To fight it.

tina Now you want to win?

bush Failure is not an option.

tina So the only option is to win?

bush Which is our new strategy.

tina And our only option?

bush We’re helping Iraqis build a free nation that they will be an ally in the war on terror. Then we can win that war too.

tina This sounds like a teenage flick where a girl wants a boyfriend so she takes a dork and teaches him how to be cool and then it’s the best prom ever. Like once we get Iraqis to stop killing us then they’ll be our best friends.

bush Victory in Iraq is vital to US interests.

tina Interests like having the National Guard – guard the nation?

bush Right now our multi-headed enemy is being fought on many fronts so our strategy in Iraq has three elements: to win the war, to accomplish our mission and to achieve victory.

tina You know a strategy is a plan for how to win. ‘To win‘ is a strategy like ‘it’s there‘ is an atlas.

bush We are pursuing a comprehensive strategy.

tina Which is like using birth control when you’re pregnant.

bush Hehe, that’s for gynecologists to practice their love for women.

tina You know, you’re getting much harder to parody.

bush That’s my plan!

tina Touche.