Billy’s Goat

Posted · 7 Comments

Bill O’Reilly is calling for all his viewers to send him a list of internet sites that are ‘anti-military’. But lets face it – he really is calling for all that is anti-O’Reilly.

I’m going to be totally candid with you dear readers. If Bill was a lefty – I would still think he was a douche bag. It’s not the message – its the vacuous YELLING.

So I sent him this email about his list. I post it here for your entertainment.

Dear Bill O’Reilly,

Ooooh ooooh!!!!! I want to be on your pseudo-McCarthy anti-military internet smearers’ list!

Are you sure you meant ‘smear’ and not ‘schmear’? Ya did confuse a loofah with a falafel once (that I know about).

Honestly, I don’t know what you have to be so angry about. First of all – you’re a wealthy white man. Second, your political party, while a little battered still holds the majority in the majority of the branches of government. Really, you’re acting as if you live in the Netherlands or Canada or some place that doesn’t give tax breaks and privilege to people matching your description.

Seriously, you’re going to bust a capillary.

Bill you know who you should get into? Oprah (not opera – don’t mix those two up too!). She’s been raped, mistreated and abused. Never mind the fact that she’s a black woman from the South no less. Hello – hardship trifecta! And look at her. She’s happy. She doesn’t wish terrorist attacks on cities that disagree with her. That is why Tom Cruise has never jumped on your couch, Bill.

Back to your internet hit list. I’m just trying to higher my Technorati rating. Which is a type of blogger bragging rights. I’m asking nicely here.

I could easily trade cheap insults if you’d like. You could insult my French last name and then I could insult your Irish one, just as an example. Frog – drunk – and back and forth like that. I’ve seen your show – I know how it works.

Anyway, please put me on the list. Thanks for your time.

Tina Dupuy

7 Responses to "Billy’s Goat"
  1. Abby Taylor says:


    I wanna be on Bill’s hit list, too. I think I’ll write him a letter, too.

  2. Mark Alread says:

    Bill is the eternal elementary school hall monitor and teacher’s toady that refuses to grow up. “Hey, Bill “Oral-Lie-ly” I’m talking during class saying bad things about the President!! Gonna put me on your list??”

  3. Can I get on the list, too? My blog isn’t all that political.

  4. what scares me is the possibility that like pat robertson, bill voted for dean, and he smiles all the way to work knowing another day of pandering to that crowd is more money in the bank.

  5. OzzyC says:

    Do you think that maybe O’Reilly and Bush had the same English teacher?

  6. Hye, Tina. Lay offa O’Reilly. He’s the white man’s Al Sharpton. It’s said that even a blind pig finds an acorn now and then. Bill keeps talking and, now and then, finds an issue that tastes good.

    Can I be anti-Bill and pro-military?

  7. Tina D. says:

    You can be anything you wanna be Nickie, this is America.

    Where you can be pro-life AND pro-death penalty and no one bats an eye.

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