A judge had a gag order on Jay Leno (story) to keep him from making any Michael Jackson jokes. Mine has been self-imposed. I’m lifting it for this post.
I know that you wanted to be like PT Barnum (info). I know that it has been a joy for you to have press leaks about oxygen tanks you sleep in, the pet monkeys you keep and the Elephant Man’s bones you want. I know that you have wanted to be ‘the greatest show on earth’.
Your ‘show’ makes me want to weep for the plight of humanity. Your PAJAMA pants got more press than Monica Lewinski, Scott Peterson and Robert Blake COMBINED. Which makes your PAJAMA pants MORE annoying than Monica Lewenski, Scott Peterson and Robert Blake combined. And that’s just ONE article of your clothing!
I want my airwaves, television shows and Google News BACK. I want to NOT have to hear about what insane thing you say or do. I want SO BAD for you to no longer be an attention hoard. That’s what you are Michael Jackson, you are the world’s annoying little brother that won’t stop desperately trying to get everyone’s attention.
And for that – you are more than worthy of the Sardonic Sideshow’s Douche Bag Award.