Alphabet City, The Secret Service and NASCAR

These are my jokes for this week….

Twice divorced presidential candidate Kucinich has a website set up to find him a new wife. He has received over 80 essays of women that want to date him! That is TWICE the amount of people that said they would vote for him.

The Secret Service is looking at some stolen Eminem lyrics, that talks about a dead president. But dont worry music fans, if he’s really a conspirator against the US, no matter how many videos he releases – we’ll never be able to find him.

Other stuff…

I was recently invited to be a contributing editor for The site has three columns: one for the Republicans, one for the Independents and one for the Democrats. Im a part of an experiment to have a satirist/comedian contributor. Ive already got my first piece of hate mail. The thing that really makes me mad is that the hate mail is funnier than anything Ive written. All Ive ever wanted was hate mail. It means someone is paying attention – and you inspire emotion.

Speaking of hate: I cant watch the Democratic debates anymore. Im swearing off. Im a debate junkie and Im going cold turkey. I just cant do it anymore. It’s like watching NASCAR, youre hoping for blood, but more than likely it will just go around and around until youre dizzy and nauseated.

The only cool thing that happened last night is when Dean said,”If you guys are upset that Al Gore is endorsing me, attack me, don’t attack Al Gore.” It was the moment when I realized that this guy is an actual leader. It at least curbed the whining for a couple of sound bites. Round and round they go…

I saw the ‘musical’ Rent last night. This was the first time Ive seen it, mainly because Ive been too busy BEING a starving artist to afford to see a play about it. The first thing apparent is that this is my generations version of Hair. Of course, in Hair everyone is making love and dying in a foreign country. Rent, everyone is shooting smack and dying of AIDS in this country. Such a celebration. I lived Alphabet City in the summer of ’95 where Rent takes place. It was just like the play – the music was terrible and screaming passed for singing.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *