The Sardonic Sideshow

Send a picture of yourself wearing my t-shirt and I will post it online.
Rules:
-Purchase necessary.
-Contest to be judge by anonymous mommy bloggers.
-Winner receives an autographed DVD of my act (so nothing of monetary value).
Tina reserves the right not to make out with any of those that enter. Contest not available in some areas. Void where […]

[Read more →]

Ah, the bitter cold - ‘arctic freeze’ you say? More than 20 people already dead this year from weather (story)? That’s nothing. I’m a comic. I welcome self-abuse.
Dolly Parton on the set of Steel Magnolias said,”My whole life I wanted to be rich and famous and now that I am, you won’t hear me complain […]

[Read more →]

What does the number 2863 mean to you? To me it’s the amount of infected files found on my computer. Yep. Why haven’t I posted in a couple of days? That’s right. Two thousand, eight hundred and sixty three infected files. The ‘computer fixer dude’ said that was an all time record. More than twice […]

[Read more →]

Norwegians thought that Bush was endorsing Satan at his inauguation
by his hand sign.
Americans recognized it as a ’shout out’ to Karl Rove.
“…we are guided by a power larger
than ourselves who creates us equal
in His image.“
Officials announced that Michael K. Powell the chairman of the FCC has planned to resign in March […]

[Read more →]

Let the festivities begin! At the “America’s Future Rocks Today” inaugural youth concert, Hilary Duff was the headliner, only one rock musician used only one curse word, the twins were sober, and the DC Armory was half full with people (most of them being secret service) .
Making ‘America’s future’ want to take up SQUARE DANCING […]

[Read more →]

McDonald’s SECOND CEO in a year is dead!
Charlie Bell, former chief executive and avid consumer of McDonald’s food, died of cancer at the age of 44 yesterday. In a loving tribute to the deceased and his family, the restaurant plans to deny that their food has any ill effects on health.
Jerry Springer to host […]

[Read more →]

Blogging is like sex…
…because the people that do it five times a day are freaks!

[Read more →]

Los Angeles is drowning. I know I’ve mentioned weather a lot recently - but this is serious. TWO FEET of rain! In the last couple of days TWO FEET!! And as of this post it is still POURING!!
I pay too much RENT to be living in Seattle! Im too SHALLOW to cope with this much […]

[Read more →]

“Cheerleaders all over America form pyramids,” Guy Womack said in reference to charges Specialist Charles Graner piled naked detainees on top of each other and photographed them.
Oh yes - one man’s abused detainee is another man’s cheerleader. Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury - it’s semantics - an argument over language. And my […]

[Read more →]

Poor Ashlee Simpson! If you had just been a couple years earlier. If you had road the coattails of your dim wit sister four years ago - before American Idol. Maybe the general public wouldnt have cared that you have no talent. American’s didnt care that Tiffany didnt write her own music or carry a […]

[Read more →]

-Start a letter writing campaign that soap, shampoo and face scrub should be tax exempt. My slogan will be,”No taxation for exfoliation.”
-Quit watching reality programs. Only watch shows with staff writers. We’ll call 2005 ‘desperately seeking more Desperate Housewives.’
-Get over my crush on Congressman David Drier. Yeah, he’s smart, funny and single. But he also […]

[Read more →]