This was in the Sun. LA Daily News while I was on vacation….

Forget the planet–save the people

I don’t care about global warming. There. I said it. I don’t care. I don’t want to hear anything more about it. I’m done.And no, I’m not going to quote experts that say that global warming isn’t happening or that it’s not the fault of humans. Actually, I am not going to quote any experts at all. The argument has been framed wrong.There are scientists and documentaries on one side and scientists and documentaries on the other side. Global warming and climate change has turned into the “he said, she said” issue of the new millennium. It’s like a trial with no witnesses and only expert testimony; the jury must decide the case by which side it hates less. It’s a wonder recipe for a stalemate.Forget about global warming. Since we started hearing about global warming, we have all but stopped talking about pollution. All we hear is:

It’s happening … it’s not happening.

America ducked out of the Kyoto agreement.

It’s happening … it’s not happening.

Oil execs made record profits.

It’s happening … it’s not happening.

Meanwhile, U.S. cities have suffered from the ironically named “Clear Skies Initiative,” which is like naming a double-bacon double-cheese butter burger, the new “Diet Sandwich.” Just because you call it something doesn’t make it true.

It’s happening … it’s not happening.

Smoke and mirrors … heavy on the smoke.

I think I’m going to blame the environmentalists. Yes. They’re easy to pick on, I know. In L.A., environmentalists are held in the same esteem as the homeless. “If we could just partition off a piece of downtown for the environmentalists. Then they can just annoy each other and leave us alone.” I blame them for trying to raise hysteria over global warming while driving vehicles with “Save the Planet” bumper stickers on them.

Pollution isn’t ultimately going to hurt the planet.

It’s going to hurt humans. Don’t set your goals to save the planet. Get a less lofty agenda and save us. Save our species. We’re the ones that need saving, especially after two terms of the apocalypse as an environmental policy. (Much like “I hope I die at 50” is a retirement plan.)

So let’s talk about something dirty, folks. Like our air and our water. There is no room for argument there. You can’t come to Los Angeles and tell me pollution doesn’t exist and if it does it’s not the fault of humans burning fossil fuels. You don’t have to be an expert or do extended studies. The air here is dirty. The air from L.A. that creeps to Riverside and Bakersfield is worse. It’s all pretty gross. That is a problem that affects everyone.

So believe in global warming, or don’t. The Legislature has passed a law restricting greenhouse gases, and Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger has agreed. That’s nice. Better would be ending the debate about global warming and beginning the dream of having a night sky in Los Angeles that isn’t that hazy pale purple color.

That’s my suggestion. My environmental campaign in Los Angeles would be called The See-More-Than-Two-Stars-A-Night Initiative. Let’s get some sunsets that are less psychedelic. Let’s lower asthma rates. How about an end to those days where you clean your windshield only to find out that that’s the actual color of the sky?

I have a suggestion for a new bumper sticker for the campaign: “Save the Angelenos.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *