Tina Dupuy

That’s right – impotence drugs have been tied to blindness.

If the Universe wasn’t awful and cruel – when an old man TAKES Viagra – his WIFE would be the one that gets to be blind.

Call it chemically induced mood lighting.

Aw, Viagra – so bad for your heart and vision – so GOOD for comedy.

Medicare has been paying for Viagra for sex offenders.

My question is: Viagra was introduced 7 years ago -
THEY’RE JUST NOW FIGURING THIS OUT!?!

Those whose JOB it is – to THINK about this stuff – didn’t think that the men that would be FIRST in line for a SEXUAL ENHANCING drug could be RAPISTS!?! And that if those offenders were on Medicare – ‘we the people’ would be PAYING FOR IT. No one thought about this BEFORE it was included on the Medicare drug plan? No one?

Who’s job was it? I want a name! Who? That’s whose next for a promotion in the Bush Cabinet. I read the papers, I know. Bush promotes them and if they’ve screwed up big enough they suddenly want to spend more time with their families. Who’s getting promoted? Just a hint. Who?

Kudzu is an invasive plant that flourished in this country. It has devastated crops in the southeastern United States over the last few decades. If you live in the south or have ever been to the south – you’ve seen kudzu.

It was brought over to this continent from China.

I think Southerners should put down their pulled pork sandwiches and UNITE! I say they go and drop a bunch of skunks (native of north America) to China. That’s right, China – it’s payback time and this time – its personal!

This would be an especially rude awakening to the Chinese people. These people that so dutifully eat rats when their government asks them to. I love my country – but I don’t love ANYTHING that much. Anyway, imagine a nice Chinese family sitting down to dinner and a weird cat waltzes in their home with a sign around it’s neck:
“This is for all the Kudzu!”

Wrong, I know…but very funny.

In an attempt to see how this plague of a plant is useful, researches in Boston have tried its effects on binge drinking.

Lukas was not certain why but speculated that kudzu increases blood alcohol levels and speeds up its effects. More simply put, the subjects needed fewer beers to feel drunk.

I don’t want to second guess any Harvard affiliated researcher BUT Vicodin already DOES THAT! Does the world need a pill that makes you feel drunk quicker? YES! Are there already SEVERAL varieties to choose from? Ask any high school student – YES.

You know what would really take care of the over growth of this annoying plant? If it made you feel drunk without drinking at all. Have a problem with toads – tell some teenagers that licking them will get them high. Have a problem with mushrooms in your field – just let them know it makes them see stuff. If you want to make the kudzu problem go away – tell the kids that smoking it will make Burger King palatable and WB programming BRILLIANT.

Revelation! 666 is not the number of the beast (it’s a devilish 616)
01 May 2005

A newly discovered fragment of the oldest surviving copy of the New Testament indicates that, as far as the Antichrist goes, theologians, scholars, heavy metal groups, and television evangelists have got the wrong number. Instead of 666, it’s actually the far less ominous 616.

The bible has in it what is called gematria. Letters have numerical value. Six hundred and sixty-six means Nero Caesar. Six-hundred and sixteen means Caligula. I think we can all agree that these two emperors were very much anti-Christian and thus appropriately assumed to be anti-Christs.

This changes everything!
616 also stands for:
-Rupert Murdoch
-Bill O’Reilly
-‘liberal judges‘

616, is also the area code for Grand Rapids, Michigan…I think the evidence speaks for itself.

I’m also thinking that religious leaders aren’t big on historical accuracies. The way I see it, when you tell your followers that God is talking to you, and God always suspiciously talks like He’s right out of a Shakespeare play – you might not care if it was revealed that the Book of Revelations was off by a digit.

I do feel sorry for all the poor saps, that in a rebellious drunken haze, got a tattoo of the ‘number of the beast’ only to now be informed that it’s the number of a beast and not in fact the beast!

Spike: “Uh, yeah Doc, could you take this tattoo off?”

Laser Doc: “You’ve found Jesus?”

Spike: “No. I was mislead by the Gideons Bible I found in a Motel 6 after a week long bender. *sigh* Wrong beast!”
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