And a Happy Shark Week to you all!
You know what’s cooler than a week’s worth of shows about sharks in the hottest month of the year?
NOTHING.
On July 18, 2005,
in Political Dribble, Uncategorized,
by Tina Dupuy
Rep. Tom Tancredo you’ve won!!!
“Well, what if you said something like — if this happens in the United States, and we determine that it is the result of extremist, fundamentalist Muslims, you know, you could take out their holy sites,” Tancredo answered.
“You’re talking about bombing Mecca,” Campbell said.
“Yeah,” Tancredo responded.
You don’t have to be one of the 1.2 BILLION Muslims in the world to think you are a douche bag. Douche bag!
Let me put it this way: There are a billion Catholics in the world. Some of those self-described Catholics are very relaxed on their religious affiliation (as could be said for any religion with over a billion members). Say you were talking about people like Eric Rudolph, a Catholic that bombed the Olympics and a couple of abortion clinics. You volunteer that if these terrorist acts by extremists Catholics get worse – then we should nuke the Vatican.
Now instead of denouncing terrorism – you’re inviting a billion people – even the ones that never go to church but got baptized (just to be on the safe side) – to want to kick your ass. Not even kick your ass. Not even your constituents (those being in an isolated square state). You’re inviting terrorist attacks on just plain old Americans that live in big cities. All of us that you DON’T ‘represent’!
Good job, Congressman. You’re from the party of personal responsibility. Ever think to be responsible for whatever imbecility falls out of your mouth? Thank you for shopping at Target!
Anyway, for saying the stupidiest thing about the US War on Terror since Bush’s “Bring it on!” you have won (with special honors) The Sardonic Sideshow’s Douch Bag Award.
On July 17, 2005,
in General Announcements, Uncategorized,
by Tina Dupuy
I must be more important that I thought I was. I’m getting deluged with spam comments on this blog. The kind that plug an online casino, where you can get cheap Viagra and a better rate on your mortgage while enlarging your penis AND helping out some foreign nationals.
If real life were only as grand as spam.
Anyway, to combat this I’m going to moderate the comments. I have to approve them before they post. It kind of sucks. If anyone has a better idea than that. Let me know. Post it in the comments and then I’ll approve it and then we’ll have a discussion…
On July 16, 2005,
in Hey Look, I'm a Writer, Uncategorized,
by Tina Dupuy
Are you the Tom Brokaw coined Greatest Generation? Are you a Baby Boomer? Gen Xer? Or are you Gen Y? Gen Z?
You may have noticed that generations, these days, happen every 5 years.
What used to be defined as the length of time it takes to grow up and have children, is now the length of time between you and your older siblings. If by the time you were a senior in high school, another person was still in the 7th grade – different generation. That’s right, America – we’re living longer and aging in dog years.
For me there’s nothing better than a 20-year-old telling me that I’m the older generation while I’m still too young to run for the senate (30). That’s right, the New Generation of Pepsi drinkers – those of us that chose, fought and persevered in the Cola Wars of the 1980’s – no longer new. Our ‘enjoy by’ date has long expired.
It’s all about fast food, fast cars and rapid generation gaps.
We have so many generations there is no time to define them. Once they are named – that’s the best definition we can come up with. We don’t even have a word (that has stuck) for this decade yet. The Zeros? The Thousands? The Aught-ies? But there is a phrase for the current batch of teens, tweens and pre-tweens. What will define them? They will be defined by the fact that they are the quickest generation in the history of the word.
The upside to this is that it is now possible to be a voice of your generation with ALL of your 15-minutes. Of course, that voice is a sound bite with the lingering effect of a mosquito bite and twice the life span. I can’t wait for the American Idol: Where Are They Now? special. Actually, I probably won’t have to wait. It’s a show that has a new season every four months. The first episode aired summer 2002 – that’s almost a GENERATION ago. Producers – you better get on that.
Who cares that you can be considered perennial in less than ten years? No tween I’ve talked to.
It’s not that our attention spans have decreased. It’s not a national lack of focus. It’s not the collective unconsciousness being comatose. No. It’s that we’ve gotten used to watching generations after generations of young people ‘come of age’ before we turn 210 (in dog years). We’re too busy agreeing on names to note anything else.
So because of this new generation time frame and elective surgery we can all look younger and AGE quicker – at the same time. This is why this country has produced – close to a half a dozen generations of confused young people in the past 20 years. Scratch that. Our country has just produced half a dozen generations in the past 20 years and THAT is confusing.
But I happen to be part of the older generation, so what do I know.
As some of you may know, I think Karl Rove is evil, ruthless and cunning. I would like him to leave from his post at the White House and be my talent agent. This is my campaign:
Please do what you can to help me.
Rep. Louise Slaughter has a campaign too.
A little different than mine. For instance they have high quality graphics.
Once he leaves Washington – it will be that much easier for him to represent me.
Thanks for your support!
On July 15, 2005,
in Uncategorized,
by Tina Dupuy
Jones said he read a script of the movie, which is scheduled to be released next month, and that it contained profanity, “constant sexual innuendo and some very clear sexual situations.”
Obviously, a man that made a living playing a character named ‘Cooter’, knows a lot about sexual innuendo.
I just can’t believe that the show that brought us Daisy Duke’s is ‘trashed’?!? Oh the humanity!
A classic family show with a car celebrating a Confederate general has been made into something shameful!
Seeing Daisy Duke in a bikini top on the re-runs just won’t be the same now that the show has been sexualized.
This is like if they did an All in the Family re-make and made Archie a smoker and a racist. I just can’t believe how low Hollywood will go to turn a profit.
On July 13, 2005,
in Political Dribble, Uncategorized,
by Tina Dupuy
As some of you will recall, Earth quit the Green Party and joined the GOP shortly after the 2000 election.
If you don’t live in America and you are wondering to yourself,”Why on earth is Earth a member of the US Republican Party?” I’ll point out that this isn’t the strangest thing to happen in world politics in recent times….
I support Rove. He deserves a metal.
The President calls him ‘turd blossom’.
I support Karl Rove, there’s no evidence of any wrong doing.
Uh, yeah there is. There are emails.
There have been a host of fake documents floating around. Me and my party no longer believe in documents. So the only evidence we believe is the word of people we trust and we trust Karl Rove. So, I support Karl Rove while he’s being viciously attacked by the liberals.
Yeah, it sucks when you get on the wrong side of a party with no political power.
I support Karl Rove, because he didn’t do anything wrong.
How did he not do anything wrong? He exposed the identity of a CIA operative, a woman serving her country in a dangerous capacity – he put her life in danger.
All is fair in loving war.
Did you just say–
Okay, got to go Tina.
But-but – you said—
On July 12, 2005,
in Uncategorized,
by Tina Dupuy
For an upcoming gig, I went to the club’s website to see what days I’m actually working. When I got there I saw that my name was spelled wrong.
The following is the email correspondence:
Tina D. wrote:
Hey, my name is spelled wrong on
the calender. What will happen when I google myself
now?I’m opening the week of ——-.
I appreciate it. Thanks.
Donut Killer wrote:
I updated your name, made a bio and used your photo. If
you send me a better photo, I’ll use it instead.
Tina D. wrote:
You don’t like my photo?!? What’s wrong with my
photo?
Thanks for changing that.
Donut Killer wrote:
Nothing other than the fact the default size for our
photos is a portrait and yours was a square. So in
order for it to work, I cropped it down further so now
we can clearly see you airbrushed out the zits.
If you had a more standard headshot you wanted to use
instead, we can swap it out. Or just leave it.
Tina D. wrote:
Look – Donut Humper – they’re not ZITS! They’re ‘beauty patches’. And if God hadnt intended for us to airbrush our headshots – He wouldnt have invented Photo Shop.
The headshot is fine. Thanks for fixing the spelling.
TD
On July 12, 2005,
in Uncategorized, Yay Science!,
by Tina Dupuy
Parkinson’s drugs stimulate urge to bet
By Nigel Hawkes, Health Editor
PATIENTS treated with drugs for Parkinson’s disease can turn into compulsive gamblers, a study suggests…
And taking an experimental drug is what kind of gambling?
The article goes on:
Six patients also developed other behavioural problems, including compulsive eating, increased alcohol consumption and an insatiable appetite for sex.
Oh my GOD – it turned them into Marines?!?
Drug side effects are no joke. I took an anti-biotic prescription and for the next month I couldn’t pronounce words with ‘K’ in them.
There’s my pitch for stem cell research.
On July 11, 2005,
in Uncategorized, Yay Science!,
by Tina Dupuy
Posted on Mon, Jul. 11, 2005
Dennis not as dangerous as past Panhandle stormsBack in the Panhandle, Craig Fugate, the state’s emergency management director, exhorted his staff to respond quickly and rapidly.
And he said search and rescue teams, also well experienced by now, had an effective way of deciding how much time to spend in one area before moving to another. He called it the ”Waffle House” test.
”If the Waffle House is still serving,” he said, “go to the next county.”
If the Waffle House is still serving – all ain’t that bad in the south.
It’s important to have gages these days – what with earthquakes, floods, hurricanes and terrorist attacks.
In Los Angeles, if the local crack dealer is open for business – all is right. It was when he was selling American flags, like right after 9/11 that I knew something BIG and AWFUL has just occurred.
On July 10, 2005,
in General Announcements, Uncategorized,
by Tina Dupuy
I can’t think of anything to say about this – except – DAMN!
Here’s his site. If you would like to make a donation to his family.
On July 9, 2005,
in Uncategorized,
by Tina Dupuy
Here’s a link from a Londoner to the terrorists.
It’s great.
On July 8, 2005,
in Uncategorized,
by Tina Dupuy
-Fred Phelps of godhatesfags.com, whose name as I have suggested in the past – sounds like a gay sex act, celebrates terrorism. If this dude is getting into heaven, I think God needs to re-think His admissions policy.
This is a very interesting article about terrorism.
Chicago political scientist Robert Pape argues in his new book, “Dying to Win,” that the vast majority of suicide bombers are protesting foreign military occupation undertaken by democratic societies where public opinion matters. He points out that there is no recorded instance of a suicide attack in Iraq in all of history until the Anglo-American conquest of that country in 2003. He might have added that neither had any bombings been undertaken elsewhere in the name of Iraq.
That’s not going to make O’Reilly’s Talking Points.
Dear Karl Rove,
I watched the documentary Bush’s Brain last night. The film was about how your underhandedness, while not being completely illegal has ruined lives on behalf of your clients. People seem to think that you will use any means necessary to win an election.
Brilliant plays like:
-Planting a bug in your office and blaming it on the other side.
-A whisper campaign that lead people to believe that McCain has a black love child.
-FBI subpoenas that fuel suspicion of your opponents.
I know you have been getting some bad press recently. The liberals quickly dismiss your genius as ‘evil’ just because of the shattered lives you have left in your path. They’re such wimps.
Any who, as I was watching the first hand accounts of your carnage the thought occurred to me – YOU SHOULD BE MY AGENT!!! If ever feel that as a sociopath you no longer have a place in Washington, please consider representing me in my relentless climb to the top.
Enclosed are my headshot and resume. You will find that my skills include several American and foreign accents, horseback riding and martial arts. I look forward to hearing from you.
Very truly yours,
Tina Dupuy