Tina Dupuy

I woke up this morning and my fever broke! Thanks for all the nice notes. I’ve never been so happy to feel so mediocre. Now I just have a head cold. Again, I cant tell you how happy I am to just sneeze and be stuffed up.

Im somewhere in Washington state, half way between gigs. Had the most unromantic Chinese food dinner with the headliner. We debated on throwing the food on the floor and screaming that our Valentines re-conciliation dinner had been ruined by their crappy food. “Now we really are getting a divorce! The kids are going to an orphanage and it’s all because you don’t know what egg flower soup should taste like!!”

Valentines Day is stupid. They may take away my Chick Card for saying this, but this day sucks. As if being alone doesn’t suck enough on Christmas and New Years, we have another holiday to make sure you suffer. Fuck this day.

Anyway, this week Oregon….

Ponderay , ID (near Canada)

Here’s the twist: I have a fever, not a’ lust for life’ kind of fever that you find in 80’s pop songs. But a highly contagious illness. I did my set without a hitch, while I was sweating and shaking and sipping hot tea on stage. I told the owner if I passed out just to toss me over the border to Canada. Now I am watching PBS, sick as a dog stuck in a hotel room in a town that I can’t find on the map. I am hardcore.

Im in a parking lot where I can get cell phone
reception. Our gig tonight is in a town that isnt on
the map. I have an atlas and its not listed. TINY!

Anyway, a short post right now. I have pictures and
stories, but have to be somewhere with WiFi to make it
happen.

Thanks to everyone leaving comments. It helps!

New Tally:
T-shirts 8
New Jokes 6
I lost track of hecklers

Another 5 hour drive to get to a 3 PM radio spot. My mantra is “they’re not paying me what I’m worth but, I’m happy to have the work”. I just keep saying that to myself. Show up at the time they ask me to be there, do the time they ask me to do on stage, be nice to the staff… I’m like a little joke-telling robot. A robot or a German, take your pick.

The first week I was just exhausted. Now I have hit my stride. I am used to no sleep, sitting in a car for long hours, and eating crappy food. All I can think is that I have 2 dates left in Montana. I want to get out of Montana. On the top of the mountain in Butte there is a huge statue of the Virgin Mary. At night it is lit up so it looks like it is floating in the sky. Casper the Immaculate. There are towns in the South that would think twice about having a glow-in-the-dark Virgin Mary. And I keep on seeing Confederate flags… Dude have you seen the History Channel. You’re in Montana. The South ain’t gonna rise this far north.

Tally:
7 Shirts
2 DVDs sold

We had a 5 hour drive to this town. Stumbled into the
local radio station to do 3 interviews, 3 different DJs,
for 3 seperate stations. Equaling over 40 minutes of idle gab.
The headliner took a nap while I went and did sound check.
Went back to my room and rested, showered and went to the
show. Didn’t have a great set, but had a lot of prep
for not a great set. Which kind of makes it worse.
Some crowds don’t like chicks making with the funny. I
thought I sensed that. But, I dont blame the audience.
It’s my job to make it work. Some nights it’s easier
than others. Tonight was not one of those easy nights.

New Tally:
T-shirts sold 6
New jokes total 5
New jokes tonight 1 1/2
New jokes that worked in Helena 0

First off a friend of mine called me and I was telling him a story about what I was doing and he said,”Yeah, I know that one, I read your blog.” So screw you Karl. If you were a really good friend you’d let me tell you twice because I like telling these stories.

Anyway, hard show. A really hard show. I didn’t feel like I did well. I felt like I bombed. I had the crowd with me on a joke and then they went cold again and then they liked a joke and then they didn’t. Sweet. Everyone was just sitting, being quiet and smiling at me. It wasn’t like they wanted to throw something. They were just weird…quiet. I was upset and then the headliner had the same problem. They were with him and then they were dead. It made me feel better. I never blame the crowd. I always think I could have done SOMETHING better. That really great comics can figure out a crowd and adjust accordingly.

I had applause breaks and then silence. Such a strange crowd.

On to the next show. I have a new bit for tomorrow. I love comedy. All I do is sit around and talk shit and that passes for writing. “You should do that on stage, dude.” Hot.

I’m curious. Is anyone besides Freddie and Karl reading my blog. Just post a comment. I’m a comic I like to know something about my audience.

This was the Christine of hotels. It’s a nice 10
degrees outside. Im in my room, chilling. Not relaxing
like the kids mean, Im cold. I’m afraid I’m coming down
with something because I’m shivering. Then I notice
that I can see my breath. The staff confirms the chill
in the air and I’m relieved its not the flu. I change
rooms and do my show.
After the show, I take the elevator. IT STOPS! So Im
stuck in an elevator in a hotel, that by this time I
know wants me dead, or at least cold and trapped. Im
hoping for firemen when the doors finally open. Just
waiting. Thinking to myself, “I would prefer to die by shark attack
than lack of oxygen or a cable snapping”.

Then after 10 of the longest minutes of my life – the
doors openned. No firemen, but I had time to write a
really nice obit for myself titled, “Helena Hand Casket”.

I love this guy!! Idaho Falls, ID

It’s my first day off on the tour. No driving. No show. No selling shirts. No radio spots. Nothing. Laundry. Sleeping. Law and Order marathon. Video Poker. Happy, happy Monday!

Okay, I hit my second wind. By the time I get home I wont know what a normal bar of soap looks like.

I got hit on 6 times tonight. Three times by the same guy. I wear my grandmothers wedding ring on the road. Men don’t hit on me. The ring has magical powers like that. Most of them are afraid to hit on me. Magic. I hadn’t been hit on yet, well only once if you count Freddie (he can’t see the ring). The dudes in Glasgow are freaks. Bold freaks at that.

The thing about playing in small towns is that in a couple of minutes of interaction with the locals you know everyone’s business. You know who the town drunk is. You know who’s showing up with someone other than their wife. You know everyone’s mother. You know everyone in the town and all their secrets. I’m in Montana for another two weeks. “Where in Montana?” you ask. Let me repeat – I’m here for two weeks – where aren’t I going in Montana! There are only a million people in the entire state. That’s like doing a two week tour of San Francisco.

One thing that I have noticed is how hard these people work. Everyone I talk to is holding down multiple jobs just to barely make it. In the hotel that I am in there is a board with pictures of soldiers in Iraq from this town. America is made by the sweat of these people and they all voted for a man that conspires to make their lives even harder. Bush’s budget proposal is to make cuts in money to farmers and college students, but increase spending on the war in Iraq? How about jobs that pay a decent wage with health care and opportunities for a higher education that doesn’t include dodging bullets.

There’s a sadness in small town America. They come to our show, laugh for an hour and a half or two hours and then go back to reality. They all say that it wasn’t always like this. When did it change?

New tally:
43 hours of driving
hours slept last night (a shoddy) 5
new jokes 4

If you want to know where I am. Turn on the Weather Channel. See the little blue dot that is -0? That’s where I am. The rest of the country is a chilly 40 and then the dark blue dot, near Canada is where I am. The Canadians don’t even have cities near here. Im in a fog of being cold, being creeped out by my hotel room and shaking hands with the locals, some are fun and some suck. All are white. Bunch of white people. Tons of white people. I can’t remember any names and there faces are all big white blur.

I have no cell reception within a hundred miles of here. For the first time this trip I feel isolated and lonely. I feel lonely. Im a stand up because Im not a team player and now I am lonely. My defenses are down. Im exhausted.

Only THREE MORE WEEKS TO GO.

If you ever find yourself in Idaho Falls – you have to
eat at Pinecrest Fish and Steak House. Trust me. It
rocks.

This is a majority Mormon town. Thank Gawd, Mormons
dont go to comedy shows. People that want to laugh go
to comedy shows. It was such a fun show! Everyone told
me this was a rough gig. Its a loud bar. Its hard not
to be freaked out that if you say the wrong thing,
someone will chuck a beer bottle at you. You just
better be funny. I always have that moment right
before I go up, I think,I really do this as a chosen
career? Im nuts. Then after a bit when I can tell the
crowd is with me, its SO COOL. The buzz never lasts
though. I go back to obsessing about what I could have
done better within seconds. I wish I had musical
talent. Darn.

Latest tally:
total hours driven 29
hours of sleep last night 4ish

New tally:

new jokes 3
new jokes that worked 3
hours driving so far 24
hours slept last night 8!!

Wow. Most unfriendly town ever! Totally indifferent to
outsiders. Usually after you do a show people are
nice. They talk to you. Some in this town did most
were stand offish. We even didnt have a bad show. That I
would understand.

The one guy that did go out of his way said,You
shouldnt tell people youre from LA, we think people
from LA are douch bags. Funny, because I think people
from LA are douch bags beause they act like people in
Bozeman.

I took pictures of some oddities on the walls of this
motel. I have to post them later. It might be bad form
to use the motels computer to announce how neglectful
the cleaning crew is…Yeah you get the idea. GROSS!