
I’m okay guys. I wasn’t evacuated. My home is still there.
This photo is of the smoke contrasting with the smog.
Makes your sinuses hurt just looking at it.

I’m okay guys. I wasn’t evacuated. My home is still there.
This photo is of the smoke contrasting with the smog.
Makes your sinuses hurt just looking at it.

I got the news last night. I was holding out, hoping that it was a hoax.
Elaine Boosler wrote a piece about Richard Jeni.
Damn.
Here’s the link…I’ll post it in a couple days. Right now I’m working on the follow up.

Yeah, that’s right – I ran the LA Marathon yesterday. And I thought watching Basic Instict 2 was painful…

I heard this year he’s going to pardon a turkey and appoint it to be ambassador to the United Nations.
Make sure to tune in to KTLK, Los Angeles AM 1150 or on the web at KTLK.com between 2-4pm this Sat. I’ll be on the air for a little interview.
Cheers.

Hey Guys! Just in time for the election…Billionaire Radio!
Because The Billionaires have always been buy-partisan.
I’m the head writer for the show FYI…
Billionaire Radio – the election episode is going to air today during DRIVE TIME. Yep. That’s TODAY, November 3, 2006 at 5pm (PST) on KPFK 90.7 in LA or you can listen live on the web at http://kpfk.org
Mimi Kennedy and Rick Overton are guest stars.
Miss Information – Carol Lynn Price is also on the show.

Listen and write comments@kpfk.org and tell them what you think of the show.
Heya All!
I have been getting hundreds of spam comments a day…almost a thousand every day. Until I figure out how to fix this, I’ve turned off the comments to actual people.
Cheers.

This is an interesting article. We should all read it and then talk about it.
This is an email received today:
Forgive me if you know the story already. If not, please read. We’re doing
our best on short notice to let people know about this show on April 6th.Thanks, Kevin
A good friend and fellow comic Erica Doering found out that she needs an
emergency eye surgery – a vitrectomy – to prevent herself from going blind.
It involves replacing her eye fluid with saline and placing a small belt and
buckle behind her eye. The operation has to be done on April 11th.
Afterwards, the patient has to stare downwards at all times … for two
months. Stare at the floor for five seconds. Now imagine doing it for two
months.Since I’ve known her in the last two years, I’ve seen her go through several
surgeries and many eye doctor appointments. And like a lot of comics I know,
she has no health insurance. This latest one is a very serious, emergency
operation and the two months of recovery means she can’t work during that
time. She only has one week left to raise the money for her surgery. So with
the help of a few others – including Amit Itelman and the Steve Allen
Theatre – I helped put this show together so she can get this operation and
see again properly.Please help! Buy some tickets for this show. Spread the word. Tell your
friends – especially if you don’t live in LA, but have friends that do. I
mean, c’mon, look at that lineup. It’s going to be one of the best comedy
shows of the year. And while you’re at it, make a donation by clicking on
the link below. Every little bit helps.
GET ADVANCE TICKETS NOW!
THE EYE CARE FOR ERICA COMEDY BENEFIT
Proceeds go towards comic Erica Doering’s emergency vitrectomy
Starring: Patton Oswalt, Bob Odenkirk, Louis C.K., Dana Gould, Naked
Trucker, Andy Kindler & an advance clip of MTV2’s Wonder Showzen
Hosted by Jimmy Pardo
Tell your friends! Spread the word!
Thursday, April 6th
8 p.m.
$25
Ticket purchases and additional donations can be sent to our fee free
merchant account:
http://www.ceisecure.com/ericadoering.html
(Please specify number of tickets and amount of donation.)
…or via PayPal by sending to recipient:
ericadoering@hotmail.com
The Steve Allen Theater
at the Center for Inquiry-West
4773 Hollywood Blvd
(2 blocks west of Vermont)
For more show info: http://www.cfiwest.org/theater/EyeCare.htm
For the whole story: www.myspace.com/ericaseye
This is what you call ’supporting the arts’. Every little bit helps.

Just call me Buffy the Calorie Slayer….
Heya Folks!
I haven’t posted in a bit…Seems I have been going through some changes.
I feel like a Kafka cockroach:
I’m turning into something I have always thought was annoying.
I own a pair of weight lifting gloves. My car smells softly of melon. It’s Fat Tuesday and I’m sober…it only gets worse from there.
Since I am now officially void of bad habits, I’m giving up Catholicism for lent.
UGH.
Once I was in a particularly nasty hotel/motel room. It was ‘under-construction’ by a group of wife smacking, crack head (to be fair, it could have been meth) gypsies. The room was about 10 feet from the freeway, five from the pool and two from the ice machine. Of course the last two were out of order or ‘under construction’ so it didn’t really matter.
Anyway, I was in my room burning incense, trying to cover the smell of stale crack(to be fair, it could have been meth) and going through my calender. I had been on the road for about 3 weeks straight and my road rash was at an all time high. I called Southwest to buy a plane ticket for my next gig. And started chatting with the customer service rep.
Rep: “Oh, you’re a comedian. That is so neat. Do you like it? I think that is SO COOL.”
Me: “Yeah, I like it. Sometimes it wears on you.”
Rep: “You know there is this great book…it’s by Dean Koontz. Its about a woman who is this road comic and her only friend is a house plant, she takes it with her everywhere. Really cool book. Someone left it in the hallway of my building. Picked it up and read it. Such a lonely character. Almost tragic. On the road with only her house plant to keep her company.”
I purchased my ticket. Put down the phone. Sat there.
Then thought to myself,“Wow. I wish I had a house plant to keep me company.”
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So…I don’t have my exact schedule yet. I know I am doing a six (maybe seven) state tour…over the course of a month…I’ll post it here when I have it.
Cheers.
This was in the LA Daily News today.
I was a stalker before it was illegal. Yep, that’s right. For those of you that don’t remember because you aren’t old enough or you’ve never been persistent enough with a love interest, stalking laws were passed in California in 1990 and much like smoking bans and strip malls quickly spread across the country.
The object of my obsession was an older guy. I was 12 and awkward. He was 16 and annoyed. I went out of my way to pass by his house. He went out of his way to be cruel so that I would leave him alone. I wrote his name on my Trapper Keeper 100’s of times. He high-tailed his BMX in the opposite direction when he saw me.
But those were the good old days of being tenacious. Now the cops get involved pretty quickly. It’s really taken all the fun out of it.
No, now you can’t stalk someone you love. It’s only big soulless corporations and the Bush Administration that get to do that.
One day I woke up and the line between ‘paranoid’ and ‘pretty sure’ had been blurred.
Take spyware for example. There are tons of bugs and ‘cookies’ that companies use to see where you’re going and what you are doing online. I’m outraged that these companies find out how truly boring I am. The fact that I spend the majority of my time online trolling myspace and pretending to read the BBC news site is none of anyone’s business. I have the right to keep those things private and to announce them in humorously self-exploitive articles as I see fit.
This is extremely valuable information that results in target marketing. And if your privacy is valuable to you, it’s as equally outrageous.
No hacking isn’t just for precocious tweens anymore. Now you have to battle corporations too. I currently have three (count them three) anti-spyware programs running on my PC. Even with FireFox and Firewalls – I still end up with more spyware on my machine than the total number Delay indictments and Abramoff bribe recipients combined!
In the middle of the War on Christmas it was leaked that the Bush Administration has been spying on us without a warrant. I say ‘us’ because we don’t really know who it is. It could be any of us. It could be me, because I pretend to read the BBC news site everyday.
They hate us for our freedoms? We’re striving for popularity!
Back in the good old days, only celebrities had to fight for their privacy. They were heavily compensated by movie deals, book deals and the free meals one gets when one is famous (or so I have heard). Mobsters and drug dealers were the ones constantly worried about being bugged. Only consumers who signed up for a club card got tracked by businesses. Now we are all subjected to these disclosures. And we don’t get any of the benefits like being famous, having the tax free income of a drug dealer or getting in-store discounts.
The one thing I know about civil rights is that if you don’t assert them, you may as well not have them. Our current president passed an anti-spam law, CAN-SPAM Act of 2003. He and the 108th Congress touted the Do Not Call List to prove they cared about American’s dinner being interrupted. I know this because I got a SPAM email about putting my name on the Do Not Call List. And as of the beginning of this year, it is illegal to anonymously annoy someone on the internet. But as far as the right to unwarranted search and seizures…it’s a technicality.
Think of George W. Bush as the ‘Let them eat cake’ leader of privacy issues.
In the last 15 years, the amount of legislation devoted solely to keeping our private affairs private has been vast. It’s the one bi-partisan issue we can all agree upon. We like having the freedom not to be watched by the government, crazed suitors or private industry. The system that we expect to help us combat these violations has become the biggest violator. So in a war for freedom, this battle has been lost.
Hey Yawl!
I’m back. I’ve gone a week without nicotine. Goody.
I have been working out everyday…because I don’t have much of a choice.
I have been a pale, thin and doughy so long, I can’t recall ever being in shape.
But, now – I’m totally into it. I want to work out. I want to be healthy. I want to exercise.
I want to be in such good shape that I look like a transvestite!
You know, a little more feminine than say a Russia Figure Skater…

An artist rendition of these athletes…he really captured the eyes…
a little more butch than say Elijah Wood…