Tina Dupuy

Let’s look into the future. Not the one with all the projected bread lines. Let’s look into the non-economic hysteria future – say five years from now. Maybe we’re in a second Obama term. Either way, we’ve had some time to reflect on Bush years. He’s quietly tucked away in his Dallas whites-only suburb – rarely heard from.

In the strategically chosen location of the 9th Ward – there’s a group of raucous young people having a celebration. Decorating the room are effigies, near beers and “mission accomplished” banners. Everyone sips super watered-down drinks called “Hurricane Katrinas.” The cocktail weenie hor’ derves are served with Bill of Rights napkins. Everyone brought bags of unwanted shoes to donate to charity (after they get thrown at the dummies). All the attendees are wearing name tags reading things like “Hello my name is Turd Blossom” and “Hi, I’m Ostrich Legs.” Later, they will announce their annual “C Student” scholarship for business majors. And then there will be the pretzel eating contest.

What is this group? It’s none other than the George W. Bush Society. Their yearly gala (that happens every six months…’fuzzy math’) is a riot!

The Dick Cheney look-a-like contest was cut after more than two people showed up as Darth Vader. “Ok, we get it. Ha. Ha.” The game Duck, Duck, Decider was also a dud. But really, it’s about the catchphrases: Members gleefully yell out gems like “Don’t forget Poland!”, “Yeah, so what?” and “I’ve been misunderestimated.” Its half satire, half street theater, half earnest send up (fuzzy math) – and it’s all Bush.

The Millard Fillmore Society started in the post-Watergate era of the 1970’s. It was a group that honored mediocrity to celebrate the otherwise unremarkable 13th president of the United States of America. They held an annual birthday party for the President, plus a national essay contest with the title “What would America be today if there had been no Millard Fillmore?”, and the publication of a magazine, Milestones with Millard.

No word on if they still meet. They don’t have a website. If they did, I bet it wouldn’t be very helpful…on purpose.

Is George W. Bush the worst president we’ve ever had?

Before Dubya came on the scene, most historians agreed the worst president in the history of the United States was number fifteen, James Buchanan. Apparently, they think the Civil War could have been avoided if Buchanan wasn’t as impotent and he was incompetent. Touchy. Touchy. Buchanan said “history will vindicate my memory.” Clearly not.

Bush has said of his presidency, “History is going to have to judge.” Which is often said by people who are wrong about most things; something else wrong about who will end up judging them.

Bush, like most presidents that are about to leave office, is concerned about his legacy. What will he be remembered for? How will he be remembered? What things will be named after him? A group in San Francisco wanted to name a sewage treatment facility after the 43rd president.

That would only be fitting if the plant worked in reverse.

Where will Bush’s memory thrive? Will there be a few loyalists who will quietly salute their president that dared to never live up to his potential for greatness? Those besides Barbara Bush? Maybe.

The majority of those that survived two Bush terms – his place for us is in camp. That’s right, his Halloween mask will live in sarcasm for eternity. His name will grace collapsed bridges, inappropriate backrubs and sentences to nowhere.

So, really, is Bush the worst president we’ve ever had? Well, he never let facts get in his way – why should we?

If hindsight is 20/20 – Americans will love Bush in their rearview.

Bush’s legacy will be etched forever in kitsch. His entire presidency will be one big Nixon Shaking Hands with Elvis picture. He will be the Diff’rent Strokes episode with Nancy Reagan. He will end up being the only president whose intellect is preserved for the ages in the medium of Bobblehead.   Just wait for it. Bush will be up there with ol’ Milly Fillmore…if he’s lucky. Which history has shown – he is.

Cross posted at the Huffington Post.

This is also posted at Huffington Post.
Is political comedy in trouble? Will there be no funny in the future with an Obama administration? Is Barack Obama bad for comedy?

Disregard all the non-comedians’ fears that Saturday Night Live will go the way of Circuit City. Ignore all the yammers about how Barack Obama is bad for the professionally funny. Forget them all.

These are the same prognosticators who said irony was dead after 9/11. Yes, they said that. The terrorists killed irony. Try even saying that without utilizing sarcasm.

“Where’s the funny in Barack Obama?”, asked the Canadian Press on November 9th. Politico asked the day after the election, “Can ‘The Daily Show‘ survive Barack Obama?” Gawker called the Obama presidency a “Crisis of Comedy”.

So Barack Obama, about to be the most powerful man on the face of the planet, just wiped out all human stupidity? There’s the joke right there.

George W. Bush was bad for comedy. First, he hated dissent. Dubya said that the terrorists on 9/11 were cowards. Bill Maher, noting it was absurd to say that flying yourself into a building was cowardly, said so on television. Maher was fired from single digit channels for pointing that out. Banned to pay cable for eternity. Bush’s then press secretary, Ari Fleischer, told the nation they needed to watch what they say. And people took note – they started watching what they said. Was that good for comedy?

Ron Suskind’s piece in Esquire had a chilling disclosure of the way Bush operates:

According to senior administration officials who learned of the encounter soon after it happened, President Bush looked at the man. “I don’t ever want to hear you use those words in my presence again,” he said. “What words, Mr. President?” “Bad policy,” President Bush said. “If I decide to do it, by definition it’s good policy. I thought you got that.” The adviser was dismissed. The meeting was over.

Questioning Bush was banned within his inner circle and anywhere else it popped up. His dissenters were taken down. Former Ambassador Joseph Wilson wrote an op/ed questioning Bush’s statement in the 2003 State of the Union Address about Iraq’s desire to purchase yellow cake uranium in Africa. Then as a repercussion his wife Valerie Plame was outed as a CIA spy by longtime Karl Rove crony Bob Novack. And thus ended her career. They went after an op/ed author’s wife? Was that good for comedy?

There was a notion among people in the United States that no matter how dumb Bush appeared to be – he was the only one who was going to keep us secure so criticizing him was an affront to our safety. I was touring the country as a stand up during the first Bush term. It was not good for comedy. Bush jokes were not welcomed. Not just in the red states – but in general. He was what everyone was going to the comedy show to escape: the know-nothing boss with your livelihood hanging in the balance of his incompetence.

But it was the fumbling of Hurricane Katrina that broke the levee of criticism. It was just shortly after Bush’s narrow re-election and suddenly ineptitude and cronyism looked like a bad thing. Then it was over. Bush’s number’s never recovered. Congress was lost to the liberals and Bush was a punchline. Every dumb thing he said was a gem. The whole country was waking up from a stupid stupor. And they wanted Bush jokes and they got them. Late night television, comedy clubs, blogs – bathroom stalls – they were everywhere.

Bush was good for comedy for a couple minutes but then he still had three and a half whole years left in office.

Two years after Katrina, George Bush became akin to airline food and Viagra jokes: cliche and overdone. But we were given a gift – the longest presidential campaign in history. A full two years of Bush-free (the Democrats) and Bush-lite (the Republicans). Think of all the Kucinich and Mormon jokes we had. Fred Thompson! Remember Fred Thompson ran for president? His whole campaign was like Darth Vadar sleeping through his alarm, ”Wake up Darth! There are millions of voices crying out in terror that could be suddenly silenced – but you have to wake up!” Tom Tancredo ran for president after saying we should bomb Mecca. Nice foreign policy dude! These guys were gold. There was a candidate named Huckabee, a governor from Arkansas that lived in a triple wide trailer when the governor’s mansion was under construction. Gold!

Currently, as I write this, Bush jokes are stale. Most of the country has forgotten he’s still in power. Last April, I was at a book conference and one of the speakers without realizing it referred to Bush as ‘our former president’. That’s nine months before his term in the White House expired. He’s not good for comedy.

Comedy – or at least political satire – speaks truth to power. It’s much better when that power isn’t tapping your phone without a warrant and suspending habeas corpus.

The Bill of Rights: Good for Comedy.

So relax, don’t believe the hype – political comedy won’t suffer under an Obama Administration. The question is: Will an Obama Administration suffer under political comedy. That’ll test mettle.

This is cross posted at Huffington Post.

The left-wing has to stop being upset about the right-wing using Barack Obama’s full name. Last Monday, there was a Lee County sheriff in Florida introducing Sarah Palin at rally. The event itself was a like pep rally for a losing lineup, chanting about team spirit as the gym crumbles to the ground.

Anyway, the sheriff’s name is Michael Scott. On the video he is a big, effeminate, bald man in uniform, presumably carrying a gun as he says, “On November fourth, let’s leave Barack Hussein Obama wondering what happened.” I watched it wondering when the rest of the Village People were going to chime in.

So cue outrage: Keith Olbermann and Campbell Brown among others have noted that this is not okay to do. Not okay to use that middle name. Brown called it ‘race baiting‘. People at these now infamously raucous and shockingly ignorant rallies are being ignited by the mentioning of Obama’s full name. His middle name is similar to a dictator that the US toppled recently. You may have heard about it a couple years ago. We’ve collectively stopped following the story in recent years. Too much of a bummer. Anyway, it makes news when a viable – ahead in most polls candidate gets called by his full name? That’s political discourse?! News? Notable?

I mean, seriously? His middle name is on his Wikipedia page. How is it an insult? It’s not race baiting. Saying he’s palling around with terrorists is race baiting. And that sound bite gets repeated ad nauseum. The William Ayers – errors more like it – ’story’ is picked up as an actual item instead of the absurdly desperate claim that it is. What doesn’t get noted is that it’s coming from the same people that say Obama is not fit to lead because he lives in the same neighborhood as Louis Farrakhan. Which is like casually mentioning that Obama has been in an airplane just like the one that flew into the Twin Towers on 9/11. Brutal stupidity.

But when it gets discussed by the media – it gets legitimized then it gets further warped in the collective minds of those that don’t get paid to sit around all day and read blogs and newspapers like I do. There’s a YouTube clip of a woman saying Obama has the blood line to be a terrorist. That’s the next step in the blinding rhetoric from the right-wing: Darkies want to kill whiteys. That’s what Jesus said in the bible.

That’s race baiting!

Making fun of Barack Hussein Obama for having a funny name is like making fun of John Sydney McCain for not being able to touch the top of his head. It’s cheap and near sighted. But when air time is given – attention and outrage handed to those that go there it validates it. It makes it look like there is something to the name calling.

Who cares if Obama’s middle name is like a former dictator that we preemptively invaded because our leader wanted to show up his daddy? If anyone should want to forget about Saddam Hussain – it’s the right-wing. They should be the ones embarrassed by what Obama’s middle name conjures up – not the other way around.

This is what the party of Lincoln has been reduced to – name calling? This is what the media has been reduced to – re-acting to name calling? The answer to both is – YES.

Sarah Palin said that she wants to talk directly to the American people without the media filter. Good, let her. Let her talk directly to the American people and let the media actually filter her.

Cats out of the bag: Obama has a funny name. Republicans are becoming parodies of themselves. And the stock market just closed under 9000.

Digg it.

This is also posted at Huffington Post.

In the post-debate, post-partisan, postpartum, postmortem by those that think about stuff, those vilified media types, it was a pretty clear consensus of what happened on that stage in St. Louis last week: Sarah Palin did well because we all know she’s not too bright. It’s like she won a gold medal in the Special Olympics. Yay! She’s a winner! The problem is that she’s been recruited to play in the majors. But she won the gold, doggone it! Somehow she gets extra credit for knowing less than Joe.

It’s disheartening to come out of a two term George Bush era and watch the standards get lowered even further for our political leaders. The Republican Party has been crying sexism since Palin was nominated. But sexism goes both ways. Instead of being held to a higher standard, like Hillary Clinton was, Sarah Palin is applauded for basic motor skills. Yay! She’s a winner! Somehow she also gets extra credit for knowing less than Hillary.

I’ve been describing Sarah Palin as scary stupid. Scary stupid is the kind of stupid where you don’t know enough to know – you don’t know enough.  If you don’t read anything – you have no idea what else you haven’t read. If you don’t spend any time thinking – you never worry about how you’re not spending enough time thinking. Charles Bukowski once said that the worst writers have the least self-doubt. Well, the same can be said for the dumbest politicians.

Great ambition with little intellectual ability: Scary stupid.

Coupled with a bright smile, those Tinkerbell winks and some memorized jabs and you’ve got yourself a farce to be reckoned with.

That’s how she should be treated by the media that annoys her so much: as a lukewarm premise with an even lamer punch line. You know, how we treat all ventriloquist acts. “Oh how cute! She wants more constitutionally granted power than Dick Cheney. You have to read the constitution, finish your verbal moose stew then we’ll see – ‘K peaches?” Yay! She’s a winner!

Why is she being treated as a legitimate candidate? Because she is a right-winger. And right-wingers believe she’s a team player. They say ‘maverick’ with tongue in cheek. They don’t actually want someone that will ‘shake things up’. They want someone that will shake liberals up. Shake up the people they don’t like, appease the one’s they do. They call her a maverick because the words ‘conservative’, ‘republican’ and ‘warhawk’ have been tarnished by conservatives, republicans and warhawks.

True mavericks are not hyped by Republicans. Just ask Ron Paul.

Scary stupid: certain, decisive and dense.

Scary stupid never worries about nuances or facts. They just get in the way of the action. Palin has been going around the country saying that Barack Obama is ‘palling around with terrorists’. This would be a good dig A) if it were true, and B) if she herself were not schtuping a secessionist. Her husband joined a group of Alaskans that wished to secede from the Union, yet she is happy to repeat,” Our opponent … is someone who sees America, it seems, as being so imperfect, imperfect enough, that he’s palling around with terrorists who would target their own country.” She is sleeping with a dude that wanted to take half the land mass away from the US! Serious.

But scary stupid doesn’t care. Hypocrisy doesn’t bother scary stupid. Contradiction doesn’t bother scary stupid. Like Palin’s oft repeated global warming stance: “I’m not one to attribute every man — activity of man to the changes in the climate.” She said at the debate, “There is something to be said also for man’s activities, but also for the cyclical temperature changes on our planet. But there are real changes going on in our climate. And I don’t want to argue about the causes. What I want to argue about is, how are we going to get there to positively affect the impacts?”

I don’t want to argue about the causes, I just want to argue about how to positively affect the impacts? ”I don’t want to talk about evidence. I just want to say words without saying anything.” Scary stupid doesn’t actually like to argue anyway. Scary stupid just likes to be right and take down dissenters…and in Sarah Palin’s case – laughers.

Scary stupid: uninformed but armed.

Okay, okay, we’ve had our fun with the shiny new thing. Now we can see that it can recite lines and wink. That’s great. Legitimate candidates can have press conferences without imploding their running mate’s campaign. Legitimate candidates can be in spin rooms all by themselves. Legitimate candidates can take follow-up questions.

How much lower can we go?

It’s scary stupid to think about.

Spread the word…Digg?

This is cross posted at Huffington Post.

There has been a slow trickle of online clips from Katie Couric’s interview with Sarah Palin. Like water torture they’ve come out night after night. Drip. Drip. Drip. Each progressively more ridiculous than the last. It’s like CBS didn’t want to release the entire interview all at once because we would have thrown up. We needed the time to digest each clip and come to the same realization that Couric must have: Wow. This woman is dim. She’s scary stupid.

Scary stupid is the kind of stupid that beats us up for not being stupid too.

It’s a deadly combo of vehemence and ignorance that we’ve had to endure during the Bush years. Gems like, “That’s George Washington, the first president, of course. The interesting thing about him is that I read three — three or four books about him last year. Isn’t that interesting?” That’s from the leader of the free world: George W. Bush.

Palin, as it turns out – is also a fan of the Founding Fathers. The clip where Couric asks her about how Thomas Jefferson said we needed to build a wall to separate church and state, Palin says, “Thomas  Jefferson also said never underestimate the wisdom of the people.” Of course, put those words into Google and it’s the quote to nowhere. Jefferson never said that. Didn’t believe that.

Jefferson, a brilliant intellectual, statesman and inventor actually said, “Whenever the people are well-informed, they can be trusted with their own government.”  Which is polar opposite of whatever drivel Palin was trying to articulate.

Jefferson talked about the separation of church and state but that didn’t make it into law. It doesn’t say that phrase in the Constitution, but it’s implied in the First Amendment. “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof…” I know this because A) I keep a copy of the Constitution of the United States and the Declaration of Independence in my purse, hoping that when it inevitably gets searched, the government official riffling through my bag sans a warrant will get the irony. And B) because there has been a huge debate about this aspect of the Constitution and the role of religion in public life for the past eight years. You know, since ‘God was in the White House’. You know, since McCreary County, Ky., v. American Civil Liberties Union of Kentucky split the Supreme Court in 2005. You know since the lines of church and state were crossed and lit on fire. Ring any bells?!

How could she have missed that reading all of those newspapers that are put in front of her all these years?!

Of course when Couric asked about cases other than Roe v. Wade that Palin disagreed with, she replied after some hemming and hawing, “There would be others…” But couldn’t recall any specifically.

Scary stupid.

Scary stupid is the kind of stupid where mindless recitation is being ‘at your best’.

She’s like a ventriloquist act – the puppet half. The one’s throwing their voices are her ‘handlers’ like Steve Schmidt. I’ve actually heard people blame ‘her handlers‘ for cramming too much information down her throat and making her choke in interviews. What kind of horrible double standard is that? If a man didn’t know anything about the law or foreign policy and mangled sound bites- he’d be off the ticket – he would have never been considered. But scary stupid has evolved. Just when the public no longer has a tolerance for scary stupid Bush and his not believing science – scary stupid developed auburn highlights and yes, lipstick.

So why is scary stupid bad? Isn’t it time for a ‘Joe six-pack’ to be represented in the vice presidency? Am I such a liberal media elite that I can’t accept someone from outside Washington coming in to ’shake things up’? Am I bias against a ‘team of mavericks’? Am I just being mean to poor little right-wing, public school educated, had to work for a living, power hungry Sarah Palin?

Isn’t it time for someone that doesn’t know a lot about the world or anything really but is a ‘quick study’ to be given world reaching power and influence?

That’s the scary stupid question, isn’t it?

 This is cross posted at the Huffington Post.
“History has shown that in times of real trial, elected officials rise to the occasion.” -President George Bush’s address to the nation September 24, 2008.

John McCain suspended his campaign until an agreement can be reached in Congress about the proposed bailout of the financial system. He issued a statement saying,” We must pass legislation to address this crisis. If we do not, credit will dry up, with devastating consequences for our economy. People will no longer be able to buy homes and their life savings will be at stake. Businesses will not have enough money to pay their employees. If we do not act, ever(sic) corner of our country will be impacted. We cannot allow this to happen.”

Great. Now the economy is getting the same treatment as Terry Schiavo.

Remember that spectacle? It was a matter of life and death in March of 2005. President Bush was bragging and swaggering about his ‘political capital’ after his re-election…as was the rest of the religious right. Terri Schiavo was a woman in a vegetative state induced by her own unfortunate bout with anorexia. Her husband wanted to let her die with dignity. She had already been in a coma for 15 years. Her parents wanted her to stay that way even longer. It was horrible. It was heartbreaking. It was sad. Then the US Government intervened! Then it was really horrible, heartbreaking and sad. The US Government…well, Republicans…more specifically Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist, Senator Rick Santorum, and House Majority Leader Tom DeLay held an emergency session of congress to keep this woman alive in the technical sense. In heroic posturing President George Bush flew from his home in Crawford, Texas to Washington DC to sign the bill. All for one poor woman. Months later thousands of poor people would die from lack of government intervention in Hurricane Katrina. But for Terri, government cared on this occasion. They were pro-this-one-life. It was a moment of unwavering buffoonery.

This is a great example of what happens when a group of ’same-thinks’ get too much power. They remind us why ’same-thinks’ should never have too much power. Because they inevitably become a hysterical mob.

Stupidity of that level and caliber doesn’t happen very often. Well… at least it hadn’t happened again (exactly) in the last three years.

But now John McCain is striving for greatness…in folly. He has to show that he’s serious. That he cares. Not that he’s knowledgeable, level-headed or leader-esque. But that he cares about theatrics and stunts. That he can call an emergency session of congress ‘for the good of the country’! That he can suspend his vacation and fly to Washington ‘for the good of the country’! That he can suspend his campaign, cancel the first presidential debate ‘for the good of the country’! Never mind that then sitting president Jimmy Carter and then Governor Ronald Regan debated five days into the Iran Hostage Crisis. Never mind that no crisis up to date has ever been important enough for a presidential candidate not have the time for an audience of millions to hear what they have to say. We live in a post-Terri Schiavo world! Less talk or thought – more action!

Barack Obama, the less experienced of the two candidates, the one ahead in the polls in regards to the economy, said in a press conference a few hours after McCain’s pronouncement, “Part of a president’s job is dealing with more than one thing at once.” Uh yeah. And part of a president’s job is not to be David Blaine constantly doing weird stunts. Where’s the dignity for the elderly statesman?

So lets all hope the economy doesn’t turn out like Terri Schiavo. Ahem. Cough. However, lets hope that for his sensational ploy the voters give John McCain the same treatment as they gave Bill Frist, Rick Santorum and Tom Delay; they were retired – for the good of the country.

This is cross posted at Huffington Post.

When I endure a really, really bad movie – I like to watch the director’s commentary on the DVD. I do. It’s my way of looking for an explanation of why total crap is made, marketed and landing in my DVD player. Call it morbid curiosity. In extreme cases – I look for an apology.  “I’m sorry I made this movie and I’m even sorrier that you watched it. Forgive me.”

This is how I watched the Republican National Convention. I sat there night after night looking for someone to say, “Wow. Did we ever leave some children behind or what?” Or, “Sorry about all the looting. Our bad.” Or “When we said ‘God’ was in the White House…yeah we really regret that.” Or “We did misunderestimate George Bush, sorry America.” Or even, “Look, it’s not our fault that Kerry was a dud. Okay? There are some things that are on us – that is not one of them.” Just a little contrition. Something.

Instead, I saw a bunch of white people dressed like bedazzled community cork boards chanting “Drill Baby Drill” reacting enthusiastically to speeches about ‘change’. No, “America is awesome. Everything is great. We’ve been in charge. Yippee” speeches. Change?! Barack Obama was talking about change. He is, after all in the opposing party. So, the Republicans decided that if speaking out against the last 8 years was getting some traction for the Democrats – Republicans should do that too.

The trick is –  talk about change but assume absolutely no responsibility for spurring it. That takes some maneuvering. Cue word play:

“ Change is coming.” McCain said to the sea of cheering supporters during his acceptance speech. The same sea that happily voted for George Bush twice. The same sea that happily had the most powerful executive branch in history. The same sea that’s endured few compromises these past years…which could account for why they are so happy.

Change is coming? Okay, they ruined the word change. Change is change. Changing the change. Not climate change (of course), but change. Sparring change. Sparing change. Change. They’ve muddied the meaning. They’ve run ‘change’ into the ground where it has now lost all significance. Like the surge of patriotism and unity after 9/11; Republicans have warped change. One person’s reformer is another person’s progressive – but still this is ridiculous. McCain used Obama’s exact buzzword?

Does no one at the McCain camp own a thesaurus?!

They have also forever tarnished the word ‘maverick’. Maverick used to be a term for a rebel. For someone that didn’t fit in. Someone that bucked the system. A motherless calf. Madonna started a record label, Maverick records. Madonna is a maverick. Ron Paul is a maverick. Lyndon Larouche is a maverick. My cousin that can’t keep a job because he thinks ‘rules’ are ‘lame, dude’, is a freaking maverick…Man. McCain is a military man and career politician. His version of ‘maverick’ is everyone else’s version of total conformity and doing everything that you’re told.

But the Republicans love to say McCain and his veep choice Sarah Palin are mavericks. They’re mavericks because they said something against their own party. Ooh edgy. They’re critical of politicians. Oh stop you nonconformists. Next they’ll say the system that they’re offering to fix is broken. What won’t you rebel against?!

Besides, the Grand Old Party – the party of traditional marriage, traditional values and traditional skin tones embracing their nominated candidate as a maverick is bizarre anyway. You can’t denounce ‘extremists’ and tout ‘mavericks’. That’s akin to denouncing hoagies while endorsing po-boys. It makes you look nuts.

“We’re going to nominate this guy that we say doesn’t do what we say because we know he shares our values.” Blink.

The Republicans don’t want change. They want to remain in power. Which makes them say anything, including the word ‘change’.

This piece was also posted on The Huffington Post.

The Grand Old Party has been fervently defending Senator John McCain’s choice for Vice President, first-term Alaska governor Sarah Palin. The spokespeople have been synchronized. And the tactic is instead of answering questions — ask them. And when you ask them — throw in an ‘implication bomb.’

Example inquiry: What experience does she have to be the vice president? Example answer: What experience does Barack Obama have with not raising taxes or saying the national anthem?

I’ll translate: Our candidate is just as under qualified as we have said your candidate is.

Cindy McCain offered George Stephanopoulos on The Week that Palin’s international experience is that she lives close to Russia. “So she knows what’s at stake.” She said. A mighty sound argument that I will use next time someone asks me if I’m a surgeon.  “I live close to a hospital. I know what’s at stake.”

Conservative pundits, columnist Peggy Noonan and Adviser Mike Murphy have been touting McCain’s choice.  “I’m bumping into a lot of critics who do not buy the legitimacy of small town mayorship (Palin had two terms in Wasilla, Alaska, population 9,000 or so).” Wrote Noonan in the Wall Street Journal. “And executive as opposed to legislative experience. But executives, even of small towns, run something.” She offered.

Cheerful. Optimistic. So what if people younger than McCain can die of old age. His proposed replacement ran something. You have to admire someone that will so gleefully defend Sarah Palin. Mike Murphy called her fresh – an ‘anti-politician’. She’s running for something that she…isn’t. Great point.

Then on MSNBC with Chuck Todd it broke. Off camera with mikes still hot Todd asked,”Is she really the most qualified woman?” Without missing a beat Noonan said, “Most qualified? No. I think they went for this, excuse me, political bullshit about narratives.”

“Yeah, they went to narratives.” Said Todd.

Then you can hear Murphy say,”I totally agree.”

My question has always been: do these flacks actually believe all the stuff they say? The answer: Why do you hate democracy and American values?

Then it was clear: these are the same people and tactics that sold the Iraq War. It’s was a combo of brow and drum beating that got us into this trillion dollar ‘vanity project’. “We have to invade them because they have weapons of mass destruction.” Was the basis.

I’m no military genius but you think that if they had weapons of mass destruction they would have used them on us when we invaded them. Not that I’m an expert. The Soviet Union actually had WMDs. They were close to Alaska, so they knew what was at stake (which may be another reason why our war with them was ‘cold’). You don’t invade countries that are heavily armed. That’s why countries get heavily armed – so they won’t get invaded.

This was the most ridiculous, scary, Machiavellian, Orwellian, Barry Levinsonian march to war in recent history. It was sold to the American public by talking heads and columnists that were put on the government payroll. Thousands of young people have died, many more injured and there’s no end in sight. The propaganda posing as talking points, platitudes and patriotic pandering was overwhelming. Through intimidation and repetition we went into a war that makes this nation hemorrhage resources.

And now that same strategy is being used by Steve Schmidt to sell us Sarah Palin, 20-month long governor of a state so small it has more senators than congressmen. He’s gone on the defensive to blame the ‘liberal media’. The same liberal media that McCain used to call his base. The same ‘liberal media’ that went along with anything President Bush wanted to do after 9/11. The same liberal media that is now sexist when it asks questions about Palin’s qualifications.

The question is: will it work? The answer: Do you hate working mothers and apple pie?

This was in the LA Daily News and The Beast.

Maybe it’s another Clinton running for president or maybe its American Gladiators being back on television or maybe it was the late night monologue jokes during the writer’s strike – but I’m suffering from some déjà vu. It’s all sounding vaguely familiar – I’ve seen this – heard it before.

The story is this: Young voters are being galvanized and energized…more than ever…this time.

Time Magazine ran a story of the youth vote on the cover, “Frustrated by feckless Washington, energized by the unscripted, pundit-baffling freedom of a wide-open race, young people are voting in numbers rarely seen since the general election of 1972.”

In 1970 congress extended the Civil Rights Act of 1965, it gave 18-year-olds the right to vote for federal offices. In the general election in 1972 between George McGovern and Richard Nixon young people for the first time were able to cast their ballots. The war in Vietnam was raging. There was, after all, a draft. The average age of a GI in that war was 19. They could go and die for their country but couldn’t have their vote counted. This was their moment. History was calling upon the young people of American to step up and change the course of history!

That year 1972 will forever be plugged as the year for ‘the youth vote’. It is the young voter’s election that all other young voter’s elections will be judged by.

What happened? Only half of those 18, 19 and 20 year olds that became eligible turned out to vote and Nixon won in a landslide.

Which poses the question: Why would we still want that demographics’ participation?

In 1992 when running against the first George Bush, Bill Clinton was roughly the same age then as Barack Obama is now. Early to mid-40’s. JFK’s age. Clinton, as a presidential candidate went on MTV. That had never happened before. President Bush at first refused. All the reports said that it was the most young people energized by an election since 1972. It was exciting. The numbers? According to the census bureau about 48% of young voters (18-24) turned out as compared to the 30 and over crowd, of 72.4%.

And let’s not forget the 2004 youth vote. “Vote or Die!” The word ‘blog’ was being used by pundits for the first time. Howard Dean and blogforamerica.com had excited the youth vote and there were more young people energized by an election since 1972! It was exciting! MySpace had just blown Friendster out of the water and grass roots had taken hold on this thing called ‘the internets’. What happened? Less than half (46%) of the youth voters turned out – way below national average of 61% of that year. And we re-elected a man that was nearly killed by eating a pretzel.

I’m not a cynic. I want all to be involved. Young, old – willfully uninformed – I say let’s all get together! I’m just cautiously optimistic. We as Americans have been stood up on prom night by young voters before. And then every couple of years we collectively forget, forgive and re-hype the next batch of flaky young people.

I know. I know. As we think every time we are about to get duped again. “This time it’s going to be different.“

On Super Tuesday I went to the polls half expecting the turn out to look like a Hannah Montana concert. When I got there it looked more like “Hannah and Her Sisters” reunion. There was a group of young Latino males exiting as I walked up. They had shaved heads and baggy pants. At first glance, they looked like gang bangers. As they approached I could make out their “I Voted” stickers on their hoodies. As we passed in the hall, one of them whispered towards me with a giddy skip in his step, ”Eh – vote Hillary!”

Different? Yep.

This ran in the LA Times.

As long as our elected officials have plush health insurance – the system will remain broken.

The other day, I admitted to a friend that I don’t have health insurance.

“What?!” he gasped. “But you’re married. Isn’t that part of the deal?” He reacted as if I had just told him that I believed in Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny or the flat tax — something embarrassingly ridiculous. Because that’s what being uninsured is these days — a character flaw. It’s how you can pay taxes, volunteer, subscribe to public radio and still be considered a drain on society.

You may be wondering, “Seriously, how can you not have health insurance? Don’t you work? Are you illiterate? Do you have no self-worth whatsoever?!” The short answer is, my husband and I are both freelancers so we have no workplace insurance. And the $500-plus monthly premium? You might as well say our health depended on our adding a new wing to our apartment.

The uninsured are a puzzling group for California lawmakers. Telling the uninsured not to be uninsured, for example, is the solution they came up with. And taxing smokers (banking on their inability to quit but sufficient longevity to make it profitable) to pay for the poor is how lawmakers proposed to fund it. They called it ABX1 1.

This wasn’t good legislation. Good legislation has supporters; ABX1 1 had apologists. And it came to an ignoble end last week, killed by an 11-1 vote in a state Senate committee.

Even though I’m not for radical change, I do favor radical improvement. ABX1 1 was neither. It came around on its face: It appeared that the cure was the same as the disease.

Personally, we make above $47,000 a year, the cutoff for subsidized policies under the plan. We also live in a city where median home prices are still about half a million dollars. Now, while Countrywide Financial Corp. may have happily approved us for a loan a couple of months ago, that doesn’t mean we have any money. So the mandate to buy insurance would have fallen on a lot of broke ears.

Healthcare costs in this country, according to the World Health Organization, are the highest in the Western world. And the chasm between medical care for those with money and those without is potentially deadly. I once had a plantar wart that was near-fatal. True story. Some people gamble at casinos for kicks; I eat uncooked fish. There isn’t a moment that I don’t know that I am one accident or diagnosis away from complete financial ruin. Where are the riots? Where’s the outrage? Didn’t Michael Moore do a documentary on this?

The uninsured and the underinsured need true political advocates. There’s only one way I see that happening. We should force all our elected officials in California to live uninsured for at least 2 1/2 months of the year. Believe me, healthcare will get reformed quicker if their lives and livelihoods depend on it. One in five Californians are uninsured — so all our elected officials should be uninsured for one-fifth of the year until they fix the problem.

What good would that do? In 1993, San Francisco passed a nonbinding measure encouraging public employees from the mayor on down to take public transit at least twice a week. How’s that city’s transit system now? Among the best in the country.

People take vows of poverty to learn humility. People fast to learn gratitude for abundance. People live off the grid to learn — I don’t know — candle-making skills. Living uninsured can teach our elected officials to care for the healthcare system. (Lesson one — negotiate prices. There are more Californians on this planet than Canadians. Hint. Hint.) Call it a fact-finding mission. Make it sound heroic. It’s no more absurd than what they came up with.

I was born into the group the Children of God (COG) or as they are called now, The Family, the Family International, or Activated Ministries. It’s a Christian cult started in the late 1960’s made up of dropout hippies in Huntington Beach. They went “international” after the leader was sought for kidnapping and tax evasion.

Many will remember the 2005 suicide of their heir apparent Ricky Rodriguez, right after he killed his childhood nanny Angela Smith. That was sensational enough to make headlines and inspire a “Law and Order” episode. Recently author Don Lattin released a book about the cult’s history titled “Jesus Freaks.”This is how the public has always reacted to the COG. It’s upsetting and so it’s dismissed outright as not actually Christian. It’s a quick effort to make sense of it.

That is how we deal with things we don’t like in religion. We reject all unpleasant elements as being frauds. Calling for the death of a teacher because she agreed to name a teddy bear Muhammad? That isn’t actually Muslim. The wide spread molestation of boys by priests? That isn’t actually Catholicism. The institutionalized and systematic abuse of lower and lowest classes? That isn’t actually Hindu. We even go so far as to tout pre-Columbian religions as being peaceful and passive. If we sidestep all the human sacrificing and war-making, they were.

We spend so much time revising and rationalizing the track record of religion we lose track of reality in the process. It’s like debating the atomic structure of the Oxford English Dictionary. Yeah, sure, we’re technically discussing the volumes – but we’re also completely missing the point.

Religion is a very effective way to control, manipulate and convince people to do almost anything. It’s more obvious in smaller cults. But it applies to the bigger denominations as well. Consider the fact that there is nothing wrong with homosexuality outside of religious belief. The same goes for Jews. And as best I can see it – science.

Because when everything is subjective – well, everything is subjective. There is no need for evidence, logic or fact. That means hysteria is on a hair trigger. Which is fine – as long as you, your friends and anyone you care about are all on the right side of the wrath when it comes.

So if the COG has “nothing to do with Jesus,” then what does have to do with Jesus? The Crusades? The Inquisition? The Conquistadors? The witch hunts? The slave trade? Manifest destiny? The Holocaust? Miscegenation laws? Fred Phelps? Crimes against women of questionable virtue? The entire presidency of George W. Bush? They all have to do with Jesus because they were all justified by Christianity. Just like the COG’s prostitution and child abuse was justified.

When you say you are a Christian, you become everything that is or was Christianity. Good, bad or indifferent – it’s ALL Christianity. A drop of water doesn’t get to claim autonomy while swimming in the ocean – even if that drop of water happens to be Mormon and running for president.

The alternative is a skewed and inaccurate, albeit a more comfortable, belief in one’s faith. Like Sherri Shepherd on “The View,” – going one step further than regular creationists who believe that the world was created 6000 years ago and insisting that nothing existed before Jesus (2000 years ago). That’s the new iTestament where you can customize your beliefs so you can stand out among your friends. And why is that so bad? What could go wrong if we forget history under the guise of glossing over what’s objectionable? The first answer is that we can repeat it. We can have another preemptive invasion in the Middle East just like in the First Crusade. Shudder. If we wear rose-colored glasses and refuse to see the problems, then we will NEVER solve them.

When the faithful aren’t aware of the true, unflatteringly lit, warts-and-all history of their religion, its past follies and its vulnerability to mistakes – it leads to the insistence that America is and should be a Christian nation. Our Constitution is a product of the era of The Enlightenment where the foundation was reason. But we are told that our Constitution “rests on a foundation of faith.” This type of revisionist history causes the line of church and state to be blurred, which is precisely what our Constitution tries to guard against. And there is plenty of evidence when that happens, it isn’t beneficial to the church or to the state.

So when stories of cults and abuse in the name of religion make national news, let’s look at the similarities instead of dismissing them because they don’t apply to us. See what they can teach us. And be open to the answers.

This also ran in the LA Daily News, Huffington Post and BrooWaha.

Rebranding is an All-American pastime. If necessity is the mother of invention – then bad press is the mother of re-invention . It’s not just Chevron, while having record profits on oil, trying to get the word out about conservation. Or Frito-Lay, whose non-recyclable chip bags decorate the sides of our nation’s highways, announcing its attempt at being eco friendly. Even Scientology has gotten a facelift with their social programs being embraced by Christian leaders. What’s next? A Uri Geller comeback? A new Imus show? Target being a hip place to find designer wears?With the right perspective – anything is possible.

There is a group of people who need an Extreme Makeover: Homeland Edition – illegal immigrants. Their press coverage is horrible. Antibiotic-resistant staph infections get better play in the media.

We have to redo their marketing strategy to give them better mass appeal.

The first problem is the word “illegal”. Americans don’t like things that are illegal – like illegal drugs, illegal abortions, illegal fireworks. Illegal we equate with immoral. You just can’t do something illegal and be a good person. Illegal is derogatory. Child pornography is illegal. Illegal is always bad.

Some presidential candidates want to use the term ‘undocumented’. That won’t work, either. It’s too bureaucratic. Too much paperwork. It reminds us of taxes. We hate filling out forms. “Paperless” rings of freedom. Documents give us paper cuts and headaches. It feels like asking a yes or no question and getting an encyclopedia for an answer. ‘Undocumented’ won’t do.

What have Americans always liked? Outlaws! Oh yeah, Jessie James is an outlaw. Butch Cassidy, Billy the Kid, Al Capone, John Dillinger, John Gotti – we love these guys. But call them ‘illegals’ and their luster fades. Naw, they’re outlaws. They didn’t play by the rules. They didn’t pay into social security. They blatantly defied federal law. And we love them for it. Outlaws are sexy. Still breaking the law – but with style!

Now the words ‘immigrants‘, ‘aliens’ and ‘workers’ aren’t going to fly with this image re-alignment. “That was the old Dole,” as Dole likes to say (mainly when they get sued). ‘Immigrant’ is too ‘huddled masses‘. Aliens are known for invading. As for ‘workers’ – it says union – it says ‘they’ll take your job’ – it says scabs. Scabs are bad even if you don’t like unions. Nix those words.

We have to get at why these folks are here. Depending on whom you ask there are 7 to 20 million them of in this country. Why? Who benefits from a unlimited work force that has no legal rights, recourse, or retirement plans? One or two people is a blue-collar crime – 20 million is a white-collar one! Of course we can’t call them ‘white-collar crime victims’ because Americans don’t understand it. Martha Stewart is a white-collar criminal and we still don’t get why. No they are casualties of lobbying! A couple of hand shakes and smoky rooms deals and voila! A couple of million people available for cheap labor.

So why don’t we call them ‘political outlaws‘? That would fit. It’s kind of engaging. But it sounds like they’re anarchists or Seventh Day Adventists or something equally as vexing.

We have to accentuate the positive. To work on a new image we must play up the remittance figures. Remittance, not to be confused with recidivism, is the sending of money to their countries of origin. According to a new survey , by Inter-American Dialogue, Mexican immigrants (legal and illegal) sent $24.25 billion home in 2006. Around half of the 100 million people in that country live below the poverty line. So it happens that this money sent back home is currently the most generous aid in existence to Mexico. So what do we have? Very poor people risking life and limb to help even poorer people! There’s a feel good story wrapped inside a heap of schmaltz. It’s just the kind of emotional connection you need in order to create brand loyalty.

Okay, for their public relations make over – illegal immigrants will now be thought of as outlaw philanthropists! Here’s their tagline: “Their leaders failed them. To take care of their families, they did what they had to do.”

See? Now they sound less like cockroaches and tapeworms and more like mammals.

It doesn’t decriminalize them – it re-humanizes them. And if we can be made to feel good about shopping at Wal-Mart, we can be made to feel concern for our fellow human beings…you know the ones cleaning Wal-Marts.

I love swag. I do. Free stuff! I have a menagerie of acquired t-shirts in my closet ranging from production companies to Bar Mitzvahs.

It was through my swag infatuation I discovered American Apparel. I was given a t-shirt that fit perfectly and I googled the name on the label. This was back in late 2003. There was only one retail store for American Apparel, and it just so happened to be walking distance from my house in Echo Park.

In 2003 “outsourcing” was the worry de jour. I was touring around the country at the time, and there were two kinds of towns – those that were complaining about the pollution left by factories and those towns that were just left by factories. American Apparel was made in the USA – more specifically in Los Angeles. It was great – reasonable label-free clothes made three miles away by people that were paid a decent wage. A Prius pizza delivery uses more fuel. That was something I could buy into!

The first time I went into the store front I was engaged by a bunch of enthusiastic kids that fancied themselves as stylists. I rarely ever interact with anyone who likes their job, especially when that job is retail. These people were the exceptions. They liked clothes, liked talking about clothes and were excited about American Apparel. They boasted about their company’s mission statement. And I was given a 10 percent discount because I lived in the neighborhood! Almost as sweet as swag.

However, even though at times I wanted to, I could never fully embrace the company. It’s like my relationship with tofu – yeah, it’s good for a lot of reasons – but it’s also kind of gross.

“Gross” meaning the cult of personality of the founder Dov Charney. He is a now slightly under 40 hipster who wears his sexuality (literally) on his sleeve. Think Angelina Jolie pre-Brad Pitt…only very oily, hairy, and male. He famously started masturbating during an interview with Jane Magazine, boasts about sleeping with employees and is solely responsible for those saucy advertisements.

I’ve never liked the ad campaigns for AA. It’s not that I am afraid of sexy images of 15-year-old girls. It’s just that you can only be so edgy until you fall off into parody. It’s like, okay, we get it – you’re a pervert – is that all you got? I like my perverts to have some depth (see: J. Edgar Hoover).

Your feelings on it would depend on whether you view Hugh Hefner as a stud or as a one trick pony.

I won’t defend the advertising but I will say that not buying AA clothing because of the sexual nature of the ads and opting instead to buy Chinese imports from Walmart because it seems more wholesome…is ridiculous.

With some consumer power comes some responsibility.

So, almost overnight American Apparel started to use the condensed Starbucks business model. Suddenly, there were stores everywhere. According to the latest press release (in Aug. of ‘07) the company now has 157 retail locations (half of which are on Sunset Blvd.) in 11 countries. The business boomed and then they announced a merger with Endeavor Acquisitions in December 2006. They will go from being a private company to being traded publicly. Will they still be sweat-shop free? Their idealistic mission statement was taken off the website.

Then it started happening. The sales people started becoming more and more like Emo Gap Store rejects with a fraction of the vocabulary. The clothes started becoming more shoddy. I bought three garments at one time and they all shredded after the first wash. Where I used to be able to walk in and exchange an item with no questions asked, now it’s a lip smack and a, “Yeah, we’ve never done that.”

To which I asked, ”How long have you worked here?”

“Like almost (dramatic pause emphasized by author) a year.”

“Uhm, do I still get the ‘hood rat discount?”

To which he replied with yet another lip smack, “Yeah, we don’t do that anymore.”

I can deal with the apathetic yet snotty sales people. I can deal with the nauseating advertisements that were provocative back before Gray Davis was recalled. I can deal with the occasional pair (or two) of defective yoga pants. I can deal with the lack of a mission statement. I can deal with having to pay full price. I can even deal with neon colored clothing (which should be listed as a crime against humanity).

I just can’t deal with all of them from the same store.

Now I’ll buy all my t-shirts from China, but all my produce from a farmers’ market. I’m hoping the two cancel each other out.

With some consumer power comes some responsibility.