I’m forcing myself to celebrate my birthday this weekend. Time to leave my little – size of a closet – office and get out in the real world. That’s right. Hang out in a place where no one is doing stand up in the other room. Hang out in a place where I’m not doing […]
Another comedian (Eugene Mirman) beat me to the punch on this one. Hysterical article. Conservative Phone Company Exploits Wedge Issues for Profit UAT: UAT, Mr. Mirman, is the only carrier that is taking an active stand against same-sex marriages and hardcore child pornography. MIRMAN: I think all child pornography is hardcore … It’s all wrong. […]
In 1692 Port Royal, Jamaica (the wickedest city in the world) sank into the ocean because of a massive earthquake. It’s Pirates of the Caribbean meets Escape from LA – with straight men wearing tights. And Liam Neeson, Prince, Tom Jones, Dean Martin and I were born. Hmm…
One of the MANY theories about the assassination of JFK was that it was Lyndon Johnson (his VP) that orchestrated the whole thing. President Kennedy was shot in Texas, where Johnson was from. Texas is where Johnson had fixed a couple of elections to get himself into power in the first place. Since Johnson retired […]
This is Vector. This is the effect my comedy has on people. Get your own shirt here.
Using Vitamin E can make you look ten years younger. It gave me pimples and appalling fashion sense! Amazing how well it works! Unrequited crushes on dimwitted jocks – here I come!
Kansas State Senator Kay O’Connor Conservatives like to point out that liberals are overly concerned about hypocrisy. It’s unfortunate. Concern with hypocrisy seems to be the liberal Achilles Heal. The GOP has no such weakness. That’s why they dominate the two branches of government and threaten the other one. They don’t care about duplicity. You […]
Watergate was before my time. I guess I’ve been a little envious of those that were there. What it must have been like to follow the story as it unfolded. To watch Nixon a perennial political figure – fall. Then not know the true identity of Deep Throat. I have been anxiously awaiting the day […]
Christian Slater was arrested for groping. Hmm – sounds like a primer for Christian to be the next governor of California. Bush I said that he would like to see his other son, current governor of Florida, Jeb Bush as president. Wouldn’t that be cool? Then our ENTIRE country could be as messed up like […]
Finally, an FBI agent has come out and said that he was the informant known as Deep Throat. W. Mark Felt, 91, was second-in-command at the FBI in the early 1970s. His identity was revealed Tuesday by Vanity Fair magazine, and family members said they believe his account is true. This is very exciting. I’ve […]
A political junkie fix. A tour? A show? Currently a new myspace group. Go here, to join.
Congratulations Ryan! The people voted and you came out on top. Los Angeles Magazine, one of the most mediocre publications to date (that shows up in my mailbox every month UNINVITED just like those AOL CDs) – had you as one of the top 10 unfunniest people in Los Angeles. That’s like Paris Hilton calling […]