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Column: Peace is Boring

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In all of America’s 239 years of existence, only roughly 20 of them have been without warfare of some kind. And no, those are not in a row. We’ve had one or two years, here and there, where we haven’t spent our time bombing foreign countries, bayoneting our brothers in hopes of keeping our slaves […]

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Column: Republicans Are at Odds with Corporate America

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The Republican brand is that they’re on the side of business. “Corporations are people, my friends,” uttered doomed 2012 presidential candidate, CEO-turned-Massachusetts-Governor Mitt Romney. At the time I assumed what he actually meant was, “Corporations are my friends, people.” This has been the bottom line for the GOP: Business is their business. Even South Carolina […]

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Column: Congratulations, Conservatives, You Won

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The dream of Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan, Bob Dole, Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney has now been realized. Their solution—their idea for universal health care has been passed by both houses, signed by the president and upheld twice now by the Supreme Court. Yes, they call it Obamacare. Yes, they strangely call it socialism. But […]

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Column: How McDonald’s Can Truly Be Modern and Progressive

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In 1915, Polish immigrant, Nathan Handwerker, bought a hot dog stand in Coney Island and went about undercutting the boardwalk’s other restaurants by half. These five-cent sandwiches were so much cheaper than other offerings consumers were leery of their content. To counter this, Handwerker famously hired actors to wear lab coats and eat his hot […]


Essay: Ageless

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Steam from my sobs plume around my head as I rifle through my pockets. I can’t find my bus pass! Panic consumes me. What am I going to do? The streetcar I’m supposed to take creeps up King Street on this wintry weekend before Halloween. What did I do with it?! I’m here in Toronto […]

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Column: Thank You, Nebraska Republicans!

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I’ve never quite understood why Republicans will jump to trash talk big government—gleefully calling to eradicate the IRS, NSA, EPA, CIA, etc.—all while embracing the death penalty. As the abundant field of GOP presidential hopefuls all vie to woo the same group of hyper-conservative white evangelicals which make up the party’s base, not one of […]

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Column: The Bush Years: An Explainer

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This week in Nevada, Jeb Bush accidentally declared he’s running for president to reporters. He was supposed to say, “if I run” and instead said, “I’m running for president!” So now that it’s official, I feel it’s my duty to explain the Bush years to younger/amnesiac Americans who may not remember what life was like […]

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Column: Ms. Identity Politics

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Former Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina announced this week she’s running for president. She’s not the first woman ever to dive into the GOP’s Also-Ran Industrial Complex and (wink) attempt to become the (wink, wink) next president of the United States. Congresswoman Michele Bachmann won the Iowa Straw Poll last time around. So far, Carly’s the […]

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Column: The GOP’s Daddy Issues

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While running for president in 2012, former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney was chatting up some students at Otterbein University about how they could get ahead in this world. He offered that his friend, Jimmy John, borrowed $20,000 from his parents to start a sandwich shop. “This kind of divisiveness, this attack of success, is very […]

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Column: End the War on Deadbeat Dads

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I had a deadbeat dad. The kind of slacker so egregious—so blatant in shirking his responsibilities—that he and his generation of counterparts inspired a series of draconian laws to combat their “free spiritedness.” My father (I wince to refer to him as that) exists as a transitional fossil in the evolution of child support in […]