“Big Brother” is watching you in a very “Orwellian” way. Has been for years. People who have never heard of George Orwell know of the term “Big Brother.” In many ways his dark vision of what the year 1984 would look like is prophetic. For example, his novel 1984 takes place in a never-ending war while technology is aiding an over-reaching government. I read that in the New York Times yesterday.

Orwell was right. He was dead on. Spooky.

EM Forster is best known for his novels Howards End and A Passage to India. Less well-known is a 12,000-word science fiction piece, an allegory about technology titled, ”The Machine Stops” written in 1909.

Forster’s gloomy tale takes place in a future where all the world’s people have become hermits, content with no longer physically touching others, opting instead to live in solitary with the aid of The Machine. “There are no musical instruments and yet…this room is throbbing with melodious sounds,” he writes. The protagonist Vashti lives in a small climate controlled room, illuminated by neither lamp nor window. She has thousands of friends. She even lectures on “Music during the Australian Period.” It all takes place through The Machine. The catalyst is when her son wants to see her in person instead of through the “blue plate.” People don’t travel above ground anymore. The atmosphere is barren and brown. And Vashti doesn’t care for “air-ships.”

Basically he predicted central air, the Internet, video conferencing, television, radio, global warming and commercial air travel.

Forster was right. He was dead on. Spooky.

“The Machine Stops” was penned a hundred years ago. From a historical perspective, the first radio was not installed in the White House until 1922, yet a Victorian like Forster imagined modernity amazingly close.

I first read this short story ten years ago: before I became a telecommuter, before MySpace, before Google was a verb. Now I have days where I feel like Vashti, isolated in my pajamas revering The Machine. “The Machine, feeds us and clothes us and houses us; through it we speak to one another, through it we see one another, in it we have our being,” wrote Forster.

But the story is also a poignant criticism of technological advancement. The current struggle between “old media” and “new media” is one of reporting verses the digesting news. One hundred years ago a lecturer in Forster’s tale pronounces, ”Beware of first-hand ideas! First hand-ideas do not really exist…Let your ideas be second-hand, and if possible tenth-hand, for then they will be far removed from the disturbing element – direct observation.” It’s a rundown of blogging verses journalism.

It’s not just that Forster foresaw the Internet, but he guessed rightly how it would be used. In this fable of the future what values most are ideas – they are the new commodity.  Talking to her son Kuno about his desire to see her in person through The Machine is private, until Vashti turns off her isolation switch. “The room was filled with the noise of bells, and speaking-tubes. What was the new food like? Could she recommend it? Had she any ideas lately? Might one tell her one’s own ideas?” He’s describing online communities. He’s describing Facebook. He’s describing Twitter.

“We created the Machine, to do our will, but we cannot make it do our will now,” Forster wrote. “It has robbed us of the sense of space and of the sense of touch, it has blurred every human relation and narrowed down love to a carnal act, it has paralyzed our bodies and our wills, and now it compels us to worship it. “ Of course, as I write this my “machine” chimes with the siren call of new emails, IMs and tweets tempting me to distraction. To quote Vashti as she tried to comfort herself while on the air-ship, ”O Machine! O Machine!”

This piece originally appeared on True/Slant.

 

How Can Cougar Town Not Be Funny?!

My DVR accidentally recorded Cougar Town and against my better judgment, I watched an entire episode of the new fall ABC comedy starring Courteney Cox.

Cox herself now 46 years old, plays Jules Cobb, a recently divorced mother of a teenage boy, trying to get on with her life? Get laid? Find love? Revenge? It’s not clear. But she’s quirky. She’s a “cougar,” a large stalk-and-ambush predatory cat or a woman over 40 into younger men and there’s a whole town of them apparently.

The episode I caught opens with Jules Cobb rubbing/shaving the “scales” off her feet. She is also obsessed with her chin hair, won’t let people watch her eat and is constantly kvetching that she used to be way “hotter.” You know, the type of person caller ID helps you avoid. Jules is horrified by how she looks in the close-up mirror and under certain lighting conditions. This is all she can talk about. This is all the episode covered. This is the exact discourse at any given Macy’s women’s restroom and the exact reason you don’t hang out there for 30 minutes with commercial breaks.

Cougar Town is about opining for those “good old days” when Jules was married to a (stock character) jerk, but alas (according to her) she was more physically attractive. Jules’ best friend, played by actress Christa Miller, is somewhat happily married but admits all she does is look in the mirror and “see a big pile of old.” I wanted the characters to sit at a piano and parody the opening from All in the Family, “Girls were girls and men were men…” But that would actually be clever.

In this series, strangely enough, Jules’ has no self-irony. Desperately (in this episode) she wants her “hot” neighbor to think she’s cute. She thinks she’s cute wearing a cocktail dress to take out the garbage. That’s what cute chicks do, right? Act cute and wear small clothes? Act exactly how they acted when they were 19? That’s hot right? That’s what the concept of “cougars” is about? Being hot?

Then there’s the elephant in the living room, both Courteney Cox and Christa Miller have had not-so-great plastic surgery to attempt to not look like what their characters are afraid to look like. It’s a strange misdirection and any humor gets lost in this re-alignment. Where’s the joke supposed to be exactly?

The series is written thus far by Kevin Biegel and Bill Lawrence. Two men who may have seen a “cougar,” or thought about them or something but otherwise have reduced older women into a sad Courteney Cox-shaped cartoon. Because that’s how older chicks are, right? All they do is worry about their chin hair and being sexy. It’s so real.

This show is the opposite of feminism. In feminism women are empowered. “Cougars” are empowered. The premise is that they have money and power so they can afford to troll for young hot guys. In Cougar Town, women are powerless over their sagging parts and held hostage by their not-as-attractiveness. The only thing that’s made them valuable is on the verge of being completely stripped away.

It’s like a show about the chained cave prisoners in Plato’s Republic taking place as they are losing their sight. Meaning: they are myopic. And the future means even more reduction.

Yes. It was that depressing.

The thing I find offensive about the show is that aging is hilarious. It’s just funny. There’s the aspect of vulnerability and low-lying absurdity: you know better but you’re no better. It’s gallows humor. It’s guffawing in the face of inevitability. It’s a universal theme and it’s universally cruel.

So a television show about a woman facing her own mortality deciding to schtup young dudes, it’s pretty difficult to make it not funny.

Oh but it happened.

 This piece originally ran on True/Slant.

 
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