Heya Folks!
I haven’t posted in a bit…Seems I have been going through some changes.
I feel like a Kafka cockroach:
I’m turning into something I have always thought was annoying.
I own a pair of weight lifting gloves. My car smells softly of melon. It’s Fat Tuesday and I’m sober…it only gets worse from there.
Since I am now officially void of bad habits, I’m giving up Catholicism for lent.
UGH.
Minus 9 degrees fahrenheit. That’s actually a temperature. That’s what it is outside right now.
I had to bundle up to meet the pizza delivery guy at the door last night.
Yikes.
Pain. It’s so cold it hurts. It feels like duct tape being ripped off your skin when you step outside.
This is a day where I think to myself,”This business of comedy…just not very fucking funny…”
It is currently 2 degrees outside. Snow is in the forecast for tomorrow. It’s supposed to get down to -9 or so…Icy snowy ‘wintery mix’.
I may get stuck here. Where am I? Bozeman…Bozeman, MT. My cell phone doesn’t work. My entire computer didn’t blow up…just my wifi card. So this is the first time I can actually post and check my email. Rough.
Everyone that lives is Bozeman is named Chad or Madison. They are all hunky and sturdy 24 year olds. The entire town. That’s it. White and good looking and named Chad: Bozeman. I could do their tourist campaign.
A girl after the show asked where our tour bus is. “You guys don’t go around in some tricked out RV, HumVee…somthing?”
“You watch too much VHI. We’re chilling in a Dodge Neon, dude.” I informed her. “That’s a reality show. This is just reality…”
And reality is that I may not be able to continue this tour. Maybe its Mother Nature saving me from myself…
Dick Cheney shot a 78 year old Texas lawyer in a hunting mishap.
-See, if he would have served in Vietnam, he might not have missed.
-He’s going to go ‘hunting’ with Patrick Leahy next week.
-Bush says Cheney did a ‘heck of a job’.
-This is the LEAST amount of harm the administration has done to the health of seniors.
-Guns don’t kill people…Veeps kill people.
Eh, that’s all I got…
If there was a God, the accident would have been caught on tape. But alas…
Yikes.
My 2nd hand laptop has blown up. Not like smoking, sparks – cool blow up. Just frozen, spittle – bye bye laptop.
So I’m blogging from the good old reliable cell phone key pad. Hard core.
Oh and by the way…I’m being spammed in the comments so bad that I accidentally deleted a TON of real comments. Sorry guys.
Anyway, I’m in Idaho…and the only thing on television that isn’t a maudlin reality show is a couple of Sandra Bullock movies.
Man I’m bummed about the blown laptop…
My room smells like french fries…
So if you’re generally an unhelpful, snotty yet slow witted person…best not to work at a hotel. What with all the annoying people asking you dumb questions like,”Where’s the work out room?” and “Is there a good place to eat?” Sorry to tear you away from Yahoo Games, Princess, but I just need a straight fucking answer sans the ‘tude’.
Anyway, I had my first gym experience last night. Yep. I went to a gym for the first time…ever. I found where one was on the internet. I drove to it. I gave them $10 and I went and used their equipment. This sounds fairly simple if you havent spent the past decade or so chain smoking and making fun of people that went to gyms.
I think I speak for everyone when I say that seeing someone more out of shape than myself makes me feel better. Actually, the first thing I did was scan for that person. That person that seems to feel a little more uncomfortable than me. That person was there. Actually several of those people were there. Actually all of us there were in that boat. Yeah, we were all just gasping and sweating and judging each other harshly.
Then suddenly it all went sour. Yes, suddenly – out of now where, manifesting herself as if she were straight out of my worst fear, she sauntered to the cardio area. That chick that not only generally looks great – she looks great when she sweats.
As she started the stair master/cross country/tread mill thingy…I realized that this is the same woman that ruins karaoke. It’s all fun. Everyone sucking and sadly murdering their favorite songs, then SHE shows up and does an a capella version of a Whitney Houston song and then the entire bar realizes that they suck. There is a collective moment where we all know that we should never waste another moment singing under the guise of fun…The fun is gone. Because of her…show off.
So anyway, I was working out at a gym. I fell off the tread mill…twice.
Now most people are afraid of having people laugh at them…But when you’re a comedian…
I’m in Washington State…damn it.
I drove here from the Bay Area today. It’s passed midnight.
The show was fun. Smokey. But fun…very smokey.
Tired…more later….sleep….
