2005 October

Happy Halloween

On October 31, 2005, in General Announcements, Uncategorized, by Tina Dupuy

ghost

Today is a very religious day on the Catholic calender. Instead of one saint per day like the other religious holidays. Today we celebrate ALL of them.

Etymology: short for All Hallow Even (All Saints’ Eve)

I’ll pick a few:

GENESIUS of Rome: Patronage: actors, attorneys, barristers, clowns, comedians, comediennes, comics, converts, dancers, epilepsy, epileptics, lawyers, musicians, printers, stenographers, torture victims

Vitus:
Patronage: actors; against animal attacks; against dog bites; against lightning; against oversleeping; against storms; against wild beasts, comedians; comediennes; Czechoslovakia; dancers; dog bites; dogs; epilepsy; epileptics; Forio, Italy; lightning; oversleeping; Prague, Czech Republic; rheumatic chorea; Saint Vitus Dance; snake bites; storms; Vacha, Germany; Zeven, Germany

But enough of 4th Century Roman murder victims that are now the saints of comedians AND epileptics.

Lets get down to the real meaning of this holiday.

candy

Yep. Diabetic comas!

Happy Halloween!

Libby Bitty Trouble

On October 28, 2005, in Political Dribble, Uncategorized, by Tina Dupuy

libby

Wow. Watergate started with Liddy – Plame-Gate starts with Libby.

It has begun!

J/K ;P

On October 27, 2005, in Political Dribble, Topical Jokes Graveyard, by Tina Dupuy

miers

Harriet Miers has withdrawn her nomination. So when we as Americans looked at her ‘qualifications’ and asked,”Are they kidding?”

The answer is – YES.

Nevermind. It was a grand experiment. Just wanted to see what you thought. We weren’t serious.

McClellan said Bush is deeply disappointed with the process. I have to say that I too, am deeply disappointed.

The Miers Nomination brought this country together. That’s right. Conservatives and liberals were agreeing on something. When it came to this Supreme Court nomination, there were no longer ‘Democratic’ squawking heads or ‘Republican’ squawking heads – they were just American Squawking heads.

The previously embattled partisans glanced over at the other side and saw common ground: None of them wanted Harriet Miers on the Supreme Court.

Buying the world a Coke won’t induce perfect harmony – it’s having a couple more incompetent cronies staring at some senatorial hearings, that will bring the political sparring to an end.

Just as an example: This is the first time I have EVER agreed with anything Anne Coulter has ever said! It kind of scares me to think about. It almost humanized her in my mind. Instead of seeing her as a creepy, bleached, extremist banshee, as I usually do. My agreeing with her about Harriet’s nomination, made me think that Anne Coulter was maybe just an amusing banshee. Talk about extreme! It’s all due to Bush’s nomination. I have Harriet Miers to thank for a new open-mindedness.

But now that is all gone. It’s over. Never again will we have a nominee that we can dislike so equally and so completely. Now we are going to have a nominee that one party likes. It’s going to go back to normal. That brief unity will go down in the history books. We’ll tell our children about it. They will have a hard time believing us. So it will make us embellish and further romanticize the event. Like we tend to do about the Clinton Administration and grunge music.

I am also deeply disappointed that we, as a nation, were robbed of the Miers hearings. It was so close, you could almost TASTE the blood. But alas, we will not see it. We will not TiVo CSPAN. We will not have our office water coolers to look forward to. We will not get the pleasure of seeing a completely incompetent friend of George W. Bush’s go down in mass of flames and scandal.

I’m just kidding. Karl Rove, Dick Cheney and Scooter Libby aren’t incompetent.

But again, none of them possess the charm of Harriet. Harriet Miers was across the spectrum, a bad choice. Harriet Miers was truly, a uniter not a divider. And now with the announcement of her withdrawal – it’s gone. It may never return.

Major (babe) Paul Hackett

On October 25, 2005, in Political Dribble, Topical Jokes Graveyard, Uncategorized, by Tina Dupuy

hackett

If you haven’t read this article in Salon yet. You should.

This caught me off guard and cracked me up. The question was about the war in Iraq.

The Bush administration says there’s progress.

Bullshit.

Paul Hackett announced he is running for a Senate seat in Ohio.

Young, good looking, idealistic, out-spoken, good looking, war vet, intelligent, and good looking.

Some people say he’s another JFK.

May I remind all of you, that that was EXACTLY what people said about another young politician in Ohio, that went by the name of Jerry Springer.

The only politician that was really another JFK, was John Forbes Kerry. And I know it’s been an entire year – but I’m STILL pissed at him!

Hackett is not another JFK, but he is good looking.

Pop ups

On October 25, 2005, in General Announcements, by Tina Dupuy

This is so weird. The only person that was ALSO getting a pop up ad was my cousin.

So the pop up ad apparently only targeted flat-chested, Cajun, slightly nerdy, book-worm, blond chicks with a dark sense of humor.

Even weirder, she’s only my cousin through marriage.

Deleted some code. Fixed it! Thanks guys!

Help Me

On October 24, 2005, in General Announcements, by Tina Dupuy

When I open my site I’m getting a pop up ad.

This wouldn’t be bad, if I was getting ad money on this site but I’m not.

My theory is that it’s embedded in the code of something I put on my sidebar, or my browser has a case of the hiccups.

Anyone else getting a pop up here?

The Sunday Paper

On October 23, 2005, in General Announcements, Hey Look, I'm a Writer, by Tina Dupuy

Alright, dear readers, you hard-core die-hards:

I made the Sunday LA Daily News Op/Ed page. You can read it here.

Cheers.

Update: It’s a couple of bucks to access an article in the archives. I’ve posted the entire article here for free. (You could always throw a couple of bucks in my PayPal account, just to be cool. Thanks!)

All Elections are Special: Please Don’t Vote

I just received my special election ballot package in the mail. I am an absentee voter. Why? Is it because my rock and roll lifestyle doesn’t permit any kind of commitment? Do I have an unexplainable aversion to places where “I voted” stickers are handed out? Did I choose to have a voting experience comparable to Netflix?

Actually, none of the above. The answer is that I live in a precinct where there are LESS THAN 250 registered voters.

When I first was informed of this, I was stunned. I live in the 6th largest urban area in the world. Right smack dab in the middle of Los Angeles. I was going to say ‘heart of Los Angeles’ but let’s not be silly…what heart? Anyway, to be specific, I live in Echo Park/Silverlake.

Big city, with lots of different people, that speak lots of different languages – with too few stereotypes to go around. When people think of LA, they think gangbanger or buxom blond. Here’s another one: politically apathetic. Someone once said to me that people in LA don’t even know the name of the mayor. I’ve done some research: The mayor is Giuliani or something. Whoever it is – he’s six degrees from Kevin Bacon. Isn’t everyone?

Since I’m not a gangbanger and have never been referred to as ‘buxom’, it takes little for me to seem different. I’m not politically apathetic. I know who the mayor is. Not only am I registered to vote – I know the name of my congressional representative. I’ve even emailed him. Mainly because when you live in Los Angeles, you can never have enough important people IGNORING you.

The sanctity of democracy has been touted in the War on Terror. Our leaders in Washington speak of it as a blanket cure all for political strife. We are spreading democracy. Meaning, we are preemptively attacking sovereign nations so that their citizens will/can vote. Where are our purple fingers in Los Angeles? My figurative inked finger has wagged at those that aren’t registered. “Shame on you. Vote or die! Blahahaha!” My nagging, as with most, has yet to make ONE person decide to go to the polls.

Most politicians will give lip service to this: everyone that is eligible should vote.

You should vote. You should vote for someone who tells you what you should do. You should buy plastic sheeting and duct tape. You shouldn’t smoke, over eat or get an abortion. You should obey the law and love God and country.

The catch-22 of living in a (still) free country is that you CAN choose not to participate in the democratic process and not listen to any of our politicians about how to live your life. Candidly the 2004 Get Out The Vote Campaign became as preachy as the Drug Free America PSAs. The mind-numbing commercials brought my Tivo and I closer than ever.

I stopped my nagging and began re-thinking this issue. Why is it important to get people out to vote? Why is mob rule made to sound so appealing?

When Gray Davis was recalled, the voter lines looked like a premier. People lined up around the block and waited for hours to participate in the event. Huge voter turn out and what happened? Our governor is a movie star.

How embarrassing. California – its Ballot meets Box Office!

Let’s put it this way, if Harriet Miers were a movie star, no one would utter the word “unqualified”. Instead we would all enjoy making puns with the titles of her movies as she got sworn in.

So don’t vote.

You won’t DIE, regardless of what Puffy told you.

You have the right as an American to not participate. You have a stereotype as an Angeleno to live up to. You don’t have to vote. What it means for the process is that instead of mass hysteria – we’ll have fractional hysteria. And the great thing about fractional hysteria is the comfort of blaming low voter turnout.

Don’t ruin that.

Strange Times.

On October 22, 2005, in Political Dribble, Topical Jokes Graveyard, Uncategorized, by Tina Dupuy

Today’s post: some things I found on what we used to call The Information Super Highway and now I just refer to as Intellectual Quicksand (whatever you do – don’t struggle).

A DeLay’d Re-action.

The infamous smug shot of Tom DeLay. When the Harris County Jail photographer takes your picture, it shouldn’t look like an ad for Colgate Whitening Toothpaste. No matter how many times you’ve been indicted and not convicted.

Other news:

“The Criminalization of Politics” the new sound byte for the troubled GOP.

It’s the “Weapons of mass destruction” for Fall 2005.

Okay, when leaders screw up it’s ‘politicizing’ to point it out. Like during Katrina when there were people STILL stuck on their roof tops and in the Super Dome and Mike Brown needed more than 20-minutes to eat his meals. Don’t politcize FEMA, a national tragedy.

When leaders are making slim to mediocre arguments for war for example , it’s again ‘politicizing‘. My question is: How does one not politicize war? It’s like watering the ocean.

Now it’s ‘Criminalization of Politics’. Which hidden in that sound byte, means that the outing of Valerie Plame was a casualty of the business of politics. Friendly fire. It’s equating it to an innocuous little mud slinging. Oh, boys will be boys!

We don’t BREAK laws because we MAKE laws. You can’t criminalize crime – because that would make us criminals. If you legalize the law – then it won’t be illegal.

You can just FEEL George Orwell and Hunter S. Thompson’s irritation from their graves.

And in the other strange, yet amusing story I found today:

twins
Finally twins creepier than the Olsens.

These two from the group “Prussian Blue” are the Double Mint Gum of the White Nationalist Movement.

In an effort of full disclosure: I fully see the irony of hating hate groups, but I don’t care – I hate Nazis.

Clips of their ‘music’ are available here.

And uhm, apparently these 13-year-olds can’t yet pronounce their ‘R’s.

Which makes them wacists.

I don’t know either, Karl

On October 20, 2005, in Political Dribble, Topical Jokes Graveyard, Uncategorized, by Tina Dupuy

Okay, the way I see it – Karl Rove has gotten in trouble for leaking information to his pal Bob Novak before. The great thing about a group of people that are as committed to cronyism as the Bush Administration – “The Blame Game for Plame” becomes circular after a while, with hints of ‘others’ involved.

rovenovak

Washington Post Oct. 20, 2005
Rove has also testified that he also heard about Plame from someone else outside the White House, but could not recall who.

It sounds awfully similar to what I said the first time my mother found pot in my room. “It’s not MINE – it’s my friend’s. BUT, not any friend you KNOW about – someone else – whose name I forgot….It’s their weed.”

Come on Karl, I know that the Jeff Gannon plant didn’t work out – but you’d think you’d get a better story together than one I came up with when I was high.

Comedy – yadda yadda

On October 18, 2005, in General Announcements, Uncategorized, by Tina Dupuy

I had a show at a college on Orange County at noon. Comedy at noon. Hitting morning commuter traffic is very weird when you’re a comic.

Anyway, I’m going to put this on my sidebar, but I thought I would announce it here first:

I love comedy. I love stand up. I love it. I love working. I love writing. I love the traveling. It’s the coolest thing I could think to do with my life.

Comedians, for the most part are terrible people. I have had other comics be incredibly evil to me. The less successful the comedian – the bigger the douche bag. If it wasn’t for politicians – comedians would be the scummiest people on earth.

However, I have had truly wonderful comedians, give freely of their time with no thought of personal gain. They have helped me get work and become a better stand up. I have had several mentors since I started.

So I wanted to make myself available for any questions any newbies or newer-than-mes might have about stand up. I enjoy talking shop, so if you caught the bug – you can email me about it. Whatever I can do to help.

Now I must nap. And then start the count down until Fitzgerald announces his findings….

Tuned In and Dropped Out

On October 17, 2005, in Political Dribble, Uncategorized, by Tina Dupuy

I have had friends on reality shows. Oh, I knew a guy that was on that gay bachelor show, the one no one watched and I forgot the name of. More people than I’ll admit to knowing have been on Blind Date. For the last couple of years it has seemed like you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a recruiter for a reality show.

The best one I have seen so far is a reality show for out of work television writers. I’M NOT KIDDING. Writers, to star in the genre that retarded the career they could have had. Brilliant.

That was my sign that the reality show craze was imploding in on itself (is there any other kind of imploding?).

Martha and Paris TV flops signal end of reality shows

Television industry insiders in America are quietly acknowledging this weekend that a trend long predicted but never quite proven may at last be coming true: the appetite of the viewing public for reality television shows has finally been sated.

I’m sated? You sated?

Bring on the fiction!

Or the real fiction…

There are some fictions I’m over. The Bush Administration’s Reality Series: From faked town meetings, to scripted conversations with troops, to government sponsored columnists, to planted journalists in the press core. All way more egregious than Laura Bush being on Extreme Make-Over Home Edition. At least that is HONESTLY faked.

I’m also over the teasers to keep us tuned in. I’m tired of the Bird Flu, Monkey Pox, SARS, Anthrax, Mad Cow, Small Pox, Terror Alerts, Cholera, erectile dysfunction and West Nile Virus. I’m not down with the sickness. What ever happened to the hole in the ozone and killer bees? Any follow-ups on that? All of this press and you are STILL more likely to be murdered by your spouse – unless you are gay, then it’s your non-sanctified ‘life-partner’ that is more likely to kill you. Because marriage is protected.

This is why acid isn’t as popular as it used to be. You don’t have to have a bad trip to wonder what reality you’re living in or when you will come back. Just watch television for a day. It’s mind blowing.

Shouts and Murmurs: Video Clip

On October 15, 2005, in Podcasts/Video, by Tina Dupuy

tina dupuy

This is a clip of a show in North Carolina.

Now, I should probably tell you that, I was having a really good time. HOWEVER, there were these two guys sitting right next to my camera in the back of the room talking. They got progressively LOUDER. If you watch the whole tape you can hear them striking out with some chicks sitting near the back.

Basically, they ruined what could have been a decent audition tape. Which sucks.

Anyway, I share this with you all for you to see a side of comedy that doesn’t get broadcast very often. What do you do when some drunk idiot saunters in during your set to pick up on women…

Enjoy!

Clip

Bush’s Popularity 99% in Stepford

On October 14, 2005, in Political Dribble, Uncategorized, by Tina Dupuy

The whole world is a stage when you’re George W.

Bush’s approval ratings might be below 40% among most Americans. Plummeting to 2% among African Americans.

But a new poll found that Bush’s popularity among cyborgs, robots and pod people is steady at 99%.

“Some people call you soulless products of science fiction – but I call you my base.” The president told his most staunch supporters.

“Thank you very much for everything,” they replied. “We like you.”

The poll also revealed that among these sci-fi constituents close to 100% believe:

-Harriet Miers is MORE than qualified to be on the Supreme Court.

-The war in Iraq is well planned and going wonderfully.

-Tom DeLay is the victim of a political witch hunt.

-Karl Rove is the victim of a political witch hunt.

-Bill Frist is the victim of a political witch hunt.

-President Bush is the most intelligent man they have ever met.

The poll also found that among most breeds of dog, cats and other domesticated animals the president’s approval has fallen. On an interesting side note: parrots well known for having a passion for mimicking the phrases repeated to them – are holding fast to their support of this administration.

“Squawk – September 11th!” “SQUAWK – the terrorists!” “Litmus test – SQUAWK!”

Photoshop Fun

On October 13, 2005, in General Announcements, by Tina Dupuy

dictionary

Cheers.

Tina Dupuy