I left my house at 4:30 this morning. I’m a little looped.
All I can say is that I’ve never been treated so well. If the staff keeps treating me like a human being instead of a comic – I might come to expect it. I might think the next time I don’t get fed and fussed over and put up in a junior suite – it’s not worth bringing the funny.
That’s a lie, I’ll be back to the dark bar gigs and crack hotels soon enough. It just hurts to know that there’s a better place for comedy than Clovis.
I grew up on the road. My parents were missionaries. Not to be confused with ‘mercenaries’ because that would be much cooler.
“My dad kills people for money!”
As opposed to:
“My dad irks people at airports.”
Anyway, I traveled a lot as a kid. Now I travel a lot as an adult. I’m a road comic. I know I’m a road comic, because while my car is a junker but my luggage is state of the art. In fact, my luggage is the only thing I own state of the art.
So, I’m mostly packed and ready for my friend Super Shuttle to come pick me up at 4:45 am. I blog when I’m on the road. If you want to read some of the stuff that has happened on previous gigs, click on the category ‘Posts from the Road’.
And I’m off!
Revelation! 666 is not the number of the beast (it’s a devilish 616)
01 May 2005A newly discovered fragment of the oldest surviving copy of the New Testament indicates that, as far as the Antichrist goes, theologians, scholars, heavy metal groups, and television evangelists have got the wrong number. Instead of 666, it’s actually the far less ominous 616.
The bible has in it what is called gematria. Letters have numerical value. Six hundred and sixty-six means Nero Caesar. Six-hundred and sixteen means Caligula. I think we can all agree that these two emperors were very much anti-Christian and thus appropriately assumed to be anti-Christs.
This changes everything!
616 also stands for:
-Rupert Murdoch
-Bill O’Reilly
-‘liberal judges‘
616, is also the area code for Grand Rapids, Michigan…I think the evidence speaks for itself.
I’m also thinking that religious leaders aren’t big on historical accuracies. The way I see it, when you tell your followers that God is talking to you, and God always suspiciously talks like He’s right out of a Shakespeare play – you might not care if it was revealed that the Book of Revelations was off by a digit.
I do feel sorry for all the poor saps, that in a rebellious drunken haze, got a tattoo of the ‘number of the beast’ only to now be informed that it’s the number of a beast and not in fact the beast!
Spike: “Uh, yeah Doc, could you take this tattoo off?”
Laser Doc: “You’ve found Jesus?”
Spike: “No. I was mislead by the Gideons Bible I found in a Motel 6 after a week long bender. *sigh* Wrong beast!”
–
My little poll there to the right of the screen —–>
If you will take a look at it, you’ll will see that (as of this post) John Kerry and George W. are tied.
This is driving me NUTS! I’m having a flashback of November, where until Ohio was settled it was anyone’s game. KILL ME. Vote! Vote for who will win the next Sardonic Sideshow’s Douch Bag Award. Don’t let George W. and John Kerry ever be tied in any contest EVER! Please – for me!
Okay, there are somethings that are a little screwy STILL since I moved to wordpress. Seems I have dramatically lost readership. I have two theories:
1. Since my feeds are down and my url is on redirect – it’s all a matter of time until it gets straighten out.
OR
2. I just suck.
If you find anything weird – send me an email. I’m learning all this new WP stuff as I go along.
Again, if you are an RSS junkie like myself, the blog will be syndicated again soon, after I get home.
I’ll be there this week Weds-Sun. If you’re around stop by.
